


Water Dreams

by Northern_Lady



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek - Various Authors, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Alien Sex, Betazoid, Erotic Dreams, F/M, Forbidden, Hero Complex, Hurt/Comfort, Logic, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Prime Directive (Star Trek), Recovery, Romance, Telepathy, alien possession/influence, confused feelings, corrupted starfleet officer, finding yourself, middle ages culture, part alien baby, three parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 34,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24817717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: Sylvia Tilly and Captain Pike have the shared experience of falling into an alien pond. And now they have the same dreams at night, sometimes erotic, sometimes frightening, but always involvong each other.The Discovery attempts to rescue a missing officer. A young Betazoid crew member must learn to trust her team. Multiple missions will take place during this story involving the Discovery crew and during this story, relationships happen,
Relationships: Christopher Pike/Sylvia Tilly, Spock (Star Trek)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

Ensign Silvia Tilly stood in front of the mirror and willed herself not to cry. Her red hair was falling out of the ponytail she had tried to tie it into and her eyes were already beginning to well up with tears. This couldn’t be real. She hadn’t had a period in three months and she’d been gaining wait. Those changes had initially sparked concern that she had developed some sort of hormone imbalance. It probably wasn’t that big of a deal except that she disliked the weight gain. So she had casually picked up a tricorder in sickbay that morning and scanned herself. She wanted to have some idea of what was going on rather than babble at Doctor Culbert over uncomfortable topics if she didn’t have to. She hadn’t expected the scanner to indicate pregnancy. It was an impossible result. She hadn’t had sex in six months and even then she’d been on birth control all this time. There was only one explanation and even that seemed unlikely. Too unlikely to be possible or to face. 

Possible or not, Tilly had confirmed the results three times with three different tricorders all while the Doctor had his back turned. She had kept him talking with her questions about new allergy treatments and he had been none the wiser. The fact that she was always so awkward in most conversations was probably helpful in this instance. The three time positive pregnancy result was too much for her to keep her voice steady. In the end she had fled sickbay and run back to her quarters to cry in peace. 

“You need to get a grip,” Tilly told her reflection. It didn’t help. 

The door to her quarters pinged. Someone was there waiting to come in. Visitors were the last thing she needed right now. The door pinged a second time. 

“It’s not a good time right now!” She shouted at the door, her voice breaking. 

“Tilly? It’s Doctor Culbert. I need to speak to you,” The doctor called from outside her room. 

“Oh shit…” Tilly mumbled, realizing she hadn’t cleared her results from the last tricorder. She went to the door and pushed the button to open it. 

“I assume this is why you went running out of sickbay?” he held a tricorder in his hands. 

“That’s...that’s very very nearly impossible,” she told him, overcome with confusion and so many other emotions that she couldn’t name. “I haven’t...I haven’t been seeing anyone.” 

“Well unfortunately for our line of work, it’s not always as simple as that,” he told her gently. “May I come in?” 

Tilly stepped aside to let him in. “What are you saying? That this is some sort of immaculate conception? Because I’ve never been very religious and I didn’t think that sort of thing had any basis in fact and if it did I don’t see why God or gods would pick me.” 

“It’s nothing supernatural. The fact is there are several transfer mediums that have been discovered in recent years that permit pregnancy without intercourse,” he explained. 

“What do you mean by transfer mediums?” she asked him warily. 

“It could be anything. It could be some sort of slime that both you and another person have touched or it could happen as a result of a seemingly innocent cultural bonding ritual. In this case, I think it was the result of falling into a pond,” Colbert told her. 

“The pond on Faldar that Captain Pike and I fell into?” she mused aloud. As much as she hated it, she knew this was the truth. “That was three months ago. Does that mean that the father is…?” 

The doctor took a second look at the tricorder before replying. “Yeah, the father is Captain Pike. I read the full result back in sickbay before I came here and when I saw it… well, I did some digging. Either that pond on Faldor is what I suspected it was back then or you and the Captain have a thing going.” 

“We do not have a thing going,” Tilly insisted. She’d had plenty of dreams featuring her Captain at night but never expected anything would come of it. They were only dreams. “I mean... not that he isn’t hot... but he’s the Captain and it would be super inappropriate for us to have a thing… sorry I didn’t mean to say that he’s hot, that’s also super inappropriate of me to say... I only meant to say that I don’t like him like that...Or if I did, I would never...Not that he isn’t a good looking guy but if he were good looking... then I’m not supposed to notice that because I’m only an Ensign….oh god I’m only an ensign. I can’t have a baby.” 

She was babbling because she didn’t want to state her real thoughts. She didn’t want to explain how hard she tried not to think about that pond ever egain or the dreams she had each night. 

“It’s normal to be afraid, especially given the situation. Whatever you decide to do moving forward. I will be here to support that decision.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and waited a moment, perhaps to see if her decision had already been made. 

“I don’t know…” she let out a breath. “I haven’t decided anything. But wait...you knew there was something wrong with that pond?” 

“I only suspected it. I had no proof. And since you have regular checkups I figured we’d just keep watching just in case. So whatever you want to do next, take your time but come and see me for a checkup in a week either way or if anything doesn’t seem right to you before then.” 

“I will,” Tilly agreed as she watched him go. “You’re not going to say anything to the Captain are you?” 

He shook his head. “Your medical information isn’t mine to share.” 

***

By now Christopher Pike was accustomed to Ensign Tilly and her awkward nature and occasional blunders. Today she was in worse form than ever. She had flinched three times when he gave her an order, had dropped the tablet she carried twice, had failed to hear her crewmates speak to her four times, and he was almost sure he had caught her wiping away tears while she worked. This was unlike her. He knew she was capable of keeping herself together, even in a crisis, because he had seen her do so before. Her behavior indicated that there was something wrong. Pike waited until the ship was enroute and everything on the bridge was under control before quietly pulling her aside. 

“Ensign?” he said as he passed her and headed for the bridge exit. “A word please?” 

As expected, Tilly followed him to the lift. She looked on edge, eyes wide, fists clenched, as he exited into his office and she followed him in there. She had been on edge a lot lately when he was nearby. 

“Have a seat,” he told her as he sat down at his desk. She took the offered seat. “Ensign, this is by no means a reprimand. Not if it doesn’t need to be. However, it seems you are anxious and apparently you’re having some problems carrying out your duties. If there is something wrong and you need medical or psychological intervention, or if you need to take some shore leave to deal with any personal issues, by all means do so right away. Otherwise, what happened today can not continue.” 

“My apologies Captain. It won’t happen again,” She said, and though the words were firm and sincere, her shaking hands betrayed her. 

“Ensign,” he said, more gently than before. “Before you go back onto my bridge I need to know how you plan to remedy this situation. I don’t need the details, I just need to know that there is a plan in place, something more substantial than simply trying harder.” 

“Captain, might I be permitted a little time to come up with a plan?” She asked him worriedly. “The thing is… I don’t really know what I’m going to do. Doctor Culbert said I could take whatever time I needed to decide but… sorry that’s probably too much information. The point is, whatever time you can give me would be helpful.” 

“So it is a medical issue?” he asked. 

“It is but I’m fine, really.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not fine. If you failed to hear orders and instructions during an emergency situation like you did today, that could have been very dangerous to my ship and crew. Doctor Culbert should have made me aware of your medical state if it is having this effect on your performance.” He reached out and pushed the ship intercom button on his desk. “Doctor Culbert to the Captain’s ready room.” 

Tilly paled at his order. “You don’t have to do that sir.” 

Moments later the doctor walked in. “You called for me sir?” 

“Yes, it seems that Ensign Tilly has a medical condition that is affecting her performance. Why was I not informed?” Pike asked. 

Tilly looked over at Culbert with pleading eyes. 

“Any medical conditions my patients have are subject to confidentiality,” he explained, cornered. 

“Except when it makes them unfit to serve,” Pike reminded him. 

Tilly burst into tears. They were quiet tears as she struggled to maintain her composure but she was crying all the same. 

“Ensign Tilly is perfectly healthy to do her duties. I suspect her problem is related to stress,” Culbert says. 

Pike shook his head, not understanding. “So she doesn’t have a medical condition?” 

“Just tell him,” Tilly told the doctor, her voice breaking. 

Culbert looked momentarily uncomfortable. Then he spoke. “Ensign Tilly is three months pregnant. It is not an ordinary pregnancy and it did not occur in the normal way. There are alien substances that can result in pregnancy if a male and female of a species both touch the substance. In this case it was a pond on Faldar.” 

It took him a few seconds for all the information to sink in. He had fallen into the pond on Faldar with Tilly. Something beneath the water had dragged them under and bound them together, like underwater vines. They had been well below the surface for at least an hour and they had been awake, somehow not drowning but breathing in the substance around them. The vines had tied them close together, intimately so, and though Tilly was a pretty young woman and he might not have objected to being close to her otherwise, he disliked the lack of choice in the situation. He liked it even less when the liquid around them began to move at their midsection and grow warm and glow. 

“We didn’t just touch that pond,” Pike stated, “It did something to us.” 

“You didn’t mention that in your medical exam,” Cubert pointed out. 

“At the time it was difficult to explain that we’d been effectively raped by alien water,” Pike said bitterly. 

Tilly sobbed a little at those words. 

The doctor fell silent a moment. “If you have been assaulted by an alien entity then, for your own good, you both need a psychiatric screening. I’d like you to come by in an hour. If that will be all, Captain?” 

“You may leave,” Pike agreed and then turned to Tilly again. “I’m sorry. Take a week or month of sick leave. Whatever you need.” 

“Thank you…” she said, biting her lip. “But sir, what do you think I should do?” 

“Are you asking me that as your Captain?” 

“I’m just asking if...if...well since it is your DNA and all...if you would be upset if I made the wrong decision… I mean...I didn’t think that I’d want to be a Mom someday...but if I were a mom I’d do it differently than my mom did... I just wanted to work on my career first...except...look at me, I’m a mess… and it’s not like people are lining up to date me...I might not get another chance at being a parent...so if I don’t terminate...is that gonna be a problem since you didn’t really get any more choice in what happened than I did?” 

“Sylvia,” he reached across the table and took her hand. This was not the time to be her captain. He honestly didn’t know what to say or what he would advise her to do given the circumstances. 

She sniffled. “Does this mean it’s okay for me to call you Chris?” 

He smiled a little. “Not in front of the crew. The truth is, you and I shared a trauma and we should have talked about it before now instead of pretending it didn’t happen. I have to contact Starfleet for a meeting in about twenty minutes and then apparently go take a psych eval after that. This evening though, meet me here and we’ll try and figure some of this out, okay?” 

“Okay,” she agreed, sighing with apparent relief. 

***

That evening Sylvia arrived to see Chris as she had agreed to do. He was in the midst of getting a plate of food from the replicator. 

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked her. 

“No, I haven’t felt like eating much of anything except for french fries and ice cream.” 

“French fries and ice cream,’ he told the replicator and brought the tray to her and took a seat at the desk as before. 

“So that psych eval..that was fun wasn’t it?” she asked, starting off her meal with ice cream. 

“That’s not how I would describe it.” 

“I’m surprised there were no questions about dreams. I mean for about three months now my dreams at night have been whacked. Have yours?” she asked him. She’d had everything from vivid nightmares to erotic dreams all involving him. 

“Whacked,” He paused “Yeah, that probably is an apt description.”

“Do you think we should...you know...mention it to Doctor Culbert?” she asked uncomfortably. 

“Maybe. Are they disturbing your sleep?” 

“Sometimes more than others,” she explained, keeping it vague. 

“I’m guessing that since the pond, your dreams are similar to mine. Some of them are nightmares reliving that day and others are…” he trailed off. 

“Inappropriate for discussion?” she asked, knowing exactly what he was getting at. 

“Yes, well, that whole day was inappropriate for discussion and here we are anyway.” 

“Are we really gonna talk about it?” Tilly asked, worried. She hadn’t really told anyone what had happened that day but had kept it all in, too traumatized to speak of it. In the immediate aftermath the doctor had determined that they were physically fine due to the water being oxygenated. Neither of them had given further details aside from the fact that they had been trapped by vines beneath the surface. 

He nodded. “Maybe if we’d- Maybe if I had said something before, we could have prevented any pregnancy at all. I should have realized that the water entity had a purpose in what it did.” 

“So you think it was entirely biological? Like the water helps the native species to reproduce?” she asked, disturbed by it all. 

“Probably,” he said. “That doesn’t really make it any easier though does it?” 

“And that’s why we have the dreams,” she said with realization. “To try and continue...bonding. That is some powerful water.” 

“I’d be inclined to agree except I’m not sure that water accomplished its biological purpose,” Pike said. 

“Of course it did. I’m pregnant, aren’t I?” 

“I mean the bonding part. The truth is, it partially worked. At least for my part. If you were to decide to go through the pregnancy, I would take care of you and the baby in the traditional sense. So on my end, I guess the entity did its job.” 

“I think you would do that anyway,” Tilly said. “That’s just the kind of man you are. But even if you wouldn’t, how does any of that mean that it didn’t work?” 

“Because you’ve been skittish around me lately. Avoiding me, ducking around the corner if you see me coming, backing away if I step too near.” He said sadly. “I mean, I get it. What happened in that pond was… it shouldn’t have happened and it makes sense that it would result in you being scared of me.” 

“It’s not that,” Tilly told him, feeling guilty that he had misunderstood. “It’s very much the opposite.” 

“Opposite?” he asked, an eyebrow raised. 

Tilly swallowed, her cheeks filling with heat. “I was avoiding you but it wasn’t because I was afraid. Even that day in the pond, I was terrified of those vines that tied us up. I thought there must be something deep in the water that would eat us. If anything, you made me feel safer.” 

He had tried to keep her calm and told her it would be alright. Then the water had begun to warm at their center and to glow blue. Somehow a jet stream of water moved between them, as if conscious and began to stimulate in intimate places, taking the blue glow and warmth with it, marking an obvious path. The more they struggled against it, the tighter their vine bindings had become until they realized that they would have to remain still or it might not free them. Communication with the ship was in the midst of repair. She had been panicking and he had called her by name, Sylvia, and told her they would get out if they just remained calm. There was nothing left to do but comply with the entity that bound them. So they had complied until it brought them to a peak that neither of them had asked for. And in spite of her fear of being trapped, and her disgust at what was happening to her. Her Captain and his arms around her had somehow helped to assure her that they would survive this. He had been right, Then vines let them go just before the crew arrived to rescue them. 

“That still doesn’t explain why you avoid me. We’ve got to work this out if we want to continue to work together.” 

“You’re right,” Tilly nodded. The heat returned to her cheeks. “It’s.. it’s the dreams mostly… the truth is...I don’t hate them all…” 

He let out a sigh. “Neither do I.” 

“Oh,” she breathed the word, having never expected that answer. “Well, they’re only dreams. That obviously doesn’t mean we’re gonna….” she decided to stop before she said something else she regretted. 

“It doesn’t need to. However, I don’t think the dreams are going to end on their own. I think they are pushing us to bond further and unless we do, they’re probably not going to stop.” 

“Well that’s an interesting theory,” Tilly said. It actually made perfect sense despite how uncomfortable it made her that they were having these dreams in the first place but because of their respective ranks couldn’t do anything about them. 

“It’s not just a theory and you know it,” he reached across the table and took her hand. 

She definitely felt it. There was a bond between them and there was a sense of longing too. “I know,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “So now what?” 

“Forget for a minute that I’m the Captain here. This isn’t about rank. This is about two people. What do you want to do?” 

Was he trying to ask her if she were willing to have a relationship? To sleep with him? Honestly, at this point she’d take either one. Except it wasn’t that simple. “What I want isn't really relevant.”

“Of course it's relevant. Maybe you just think you can’t have what you want. I’m trying to tell you that you can. We can either try something to put an end to the dreams or wait it out and see what happens.” 

Her jaw dropped. “What if it doesn’t work? What if we go through with it and we keep having the dreams? Or it does work but it just makes everything awkward? I mean, I know I’m good at making things awkward. It’s like my speciality. And it’s not that I don’t want to say yes...because God...I do… but…” 

Pike didn’t reply to her ramblings. He got to his feet and took their dishes and trays away. “I’m gonna turn in for the night. Whatever you decide, you know where to find me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys are a tough crowd. Usually I have some kudos or feedback with this many hits. I guess that must mean this story isn’t anyone’s cup of tea. That’s okay. I’m gonna keep going with it for now. Maybe the right reader will appreciate it eventually and even if they don’t, I’m having fun writing this. :)

Tilly tried going to bed in her own quarters. It took her hours to fall asleep. She simply couldn’t relax given the events of the day. Then when sleep finally did come to her she woke again only an hour later, drenched in sweat and gasping for breath. It had been another nightmare about being underwater tied up in vines. This time though, the water hadn’t been breathable and the vines didn’t tie them together. She had been sinking deeper and deeper, drowning. Chris had dived deep enough to pull her out and drag her ashore. She had been gasping for breath and clinging to him when she woke. Most nights when these nightmares came she would go for a walk around the halls of the ship. She didn’t even bother with shoes, She just set off walking as usual, aware of the tension in her shoulders and every muscle in her body. Eventually she stopped outside of the captain’s quarters, trying to decide if she should disturb him or not. She stood there for six or eight minutes and finally decided to walk away when his doors whooshed open. 

“You almost gave me a heart attack!” she said truthfully. 

“Sorry. Are you coming in?” 

“I’m not here to…” she didn’t know what the word was she was looking for. “I just came because it was a nightmare this time and I thought it would feel safer here.” 

“Mine was actually a nightmare tonight too,” he stepped aside to let her in. “I wonder if we have the same dreams every time?” 

“Oh god I hope not,” she said as she stepped in and the doors closed behind here. “There have been some really crazy ones that would be best kept private.” 

“Would they be involving chocolate ice cream, for instance?” he asked, an eyebrow raised. 

Tilly’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh god…” she couldn’t believe this was happening. “Yeah, there was one like that and another with frogs,” she shuddered. 

He nodded knowingly. “Yeah, I think we have been sharing the same dreams. Tonight’s was especially disturbing. I think I know what you need.” 

For a moment Tilly worried that he would invite her to stay the rest of the night. Some part of her actually hoped that he would despite her fear of how much more awkward it would make everything if she did. 

“A cup of tea?” he offered. 

“That sounds great.” 

He got out two cups of tea and placed them on his coffee table. Soon Tilly sat next to him on his sofa and sipped her cup of tea. Tilly was halfway through her tea before he spoke. 

“It scares me sometimes, how much I worry about you lately,” he said. 

“You worry about me?” She was touched by the sentiment. 

“Yeah. Look, I know that what happened in that pond changed us or else we wouldn’t be having these dreams. We can talk to Hugh in the morning and see if anything medically can be done to stop it but…” he hesitated to continue. 

“But you don’t want to,” Tilly said, understanding exactly where he was coming from. “I think maybe that was the point. Like maybe that’s what the water was supposed to do, to cause a connection…” 

“I know.” He reached over and took her hand. “Are we sure that it’s a connection we want to sever?” 

Tilly blinked back the tears that threatened to spill out. “I’m not sure of anything,” she admitted.

***  
Chris awoke in the morning on his sofa with Sylvia asleep next to him, her head resting on her shoulder. He hadn’t specifically planned on keeping her in his room for the night. It wasn’t as though anything inappropriate had happened between them. They had only talked and fallen asleep. The fact was, he shouldn't have had her in his room at all. Fraternization with the crew was not something that Captains were encouraged to do. 

Sylvia woke at his side with a gasp of surprise. She had been dreaming about the pond. He didn’t know how he knew that. 

“Oh,” she said on realizing where she was. “It’s late. I’m supposed to be in the gym by now. If anyone sees me leaving here…” 

“I’ll check the hallway,” he offered. She was right. Assumptions would be made if any of the crew were aware of where she had spent the night. 

He went to the door and checked out in the hallway. Two ensigns wandered by. “It’s clear now,” he told her once the pair of young people were gone around the corner. 

Tilly got up from the sofa and stopped next to him by the door. “So are we still going to see the doctor this morning?” 

He nodded. “I’ll meet you there 0900.” 

Tilly sighed reluctantly. “Alright, I’ll be there.” She stepped just outside the door for a moment before leaving. “I think I slept better last night than I have in a long time so...thanks for that.” 

Chris watched her go, having to admit to himself that he too had slept better the previous night than he had in ages.


	3. Chapter 3

Tilly arrived in sickbay before the Captain did. She wanted to talk to Dr Culber alone. Her plan didn’t work though because the doctor was already busy with helping a crew member who had gotten burned in engineering. By the time he was done, the Captain had arrived. 

“I think I know what this is about but what can I help you two with?” Hugh asked them. 

“We’ve been having the same dreams, apparently for a while now,” the Captain told him. 

“That’s not surprising,” Hugh nodded. 

“It’s not?” Tilly asked. 

“Can anything be done about it?” Chris added. 

“The truth is, yesterday I took the liberty of contacting Faldar. I needed more information to know how to best treat you,” He explained. “It turns out that there are ponds and bodies of water like that all over that planet. The people there use them as part of their marriage ritual. The water is in fact alive and sacred to their culture. It causes bonding to ensure that the family unit remains intact. So the dreams you are sharing, and any connection you might be feeling, are a result of intaking that water into your lungs while you were submerged.” Hugh explained. 

“So I take it they don’t have any sort of divorce on Faldar?” Chris asked him. 

Hugh shook his head. “They don’t. However, it turns out that a group of Vulcans visited Faldar in the not so distant past and were able to help a quarreling native couple sever their connection with the aid of their telepathic abilities.”

“How?” Tilly asked. “I thought the mind meld bonded people further not push them apart.” 

“I don’t really know,” Hugh said. “The record was redacted. I can ask Spock about it though if it’s something you’re interested in trying.” 

“Further inquiry can’t hurt,” Chris agreed. 

“Then I will look into it,” the doctor said with a nod. “No promises though.” 

Tilly went about the rest of her day in a distracted state. She was freed from her regular duties and instead spent the time in the gym and in her quarters reading. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone. She didn’t feel like thinking either. Late in the evening she could stand the solitude no longer and she left her room for a walk around the ship. The halls were empty. Most of the crew was asleep due to the lateness of the hour. She wasn’t entirely surprised when she found the Captain in the rec room. Some part of her had known he would be there. 

“You couldn’t sleep either?” he asked her as she approached the card table where he sat reading. 

“Nope. You know it.” Tilly took a seat across from him. “I imagine your day was hardly any more productive than mine.” 

“Not very,” he affirmed. “I did manage to get the essential things done.” 

“That’s better than I did. I barely remembered to brush my hair or make my bed.” 

“Well, that’s probably not so bad since you didn’t actually sleep in your bed last night,” he pointed out. 

“I’d rather not try to-” she cut herself off before she could tell him that she’d rather not try to sleep there again anyhow. She missed him, had missed him for months, and it was eating away at her. “You look really tired,” she said, realizing in that moment that he was having as much difficulty as she was. 

“That’s not far from the truth,” he said sadly. “I haven’t really slept well lately, with the exception of last night.” 

“It’s probably not good for the ship to have an overtired Captain,” Tilly pointed out. “Maybe Dr Culber has a sedative?” 

“I tried that weeks ago. It doesn’t help.” 

“It didn’t help me either,” Tilly told him, remembering the sedatives she had tried in the days following their fall into the pond. 

“You’re probably even more tired than usual, given your condition,” he said. Pregnancy did take a toll on a person after all. 

Tilly nodded. “I’m exhausted. You’d think I’d be able to fall asleep anywhere given how tired I am but I can’t seem to do it for more than an hour. It’s like I’m constantly on edge lately and I still don’t know what I should do about...about all of this.” 

“You must have a preference? Some idea of what you want your future to look like?” 

“The thing is, I want to advance my career and at first I thought that I couldn’t do that with a baby but Fionna Robbins just made Commander and she has a two year old. The Hawkinses have three kids and they’re great science officers. Starfleet isn’t a bad place to be a parent. Most of our ships have childcare and schools. I’m starting to think that I want to go through with this. In fact I know I do. I’m just worried about what I’ll tell everyone.” Tilly explained. “I don’t want to have to explain about the pond and I don’t want to keep secrets. I’m actually terrible at keeping secrets sometimes.” 

“If you want to go forward with this, I’ll support that. I’d even like to be involved with raising the baby,” he told her and Tilly realized that he sounded relieved. “As for what to tell people, it kinda sounds like we were married on Faldar according to their traditions. That’s as good an explanation as any.” 

“Married?” Tilly breathed the word. “I guess you’re right. I guess that is what happened even if it wasn’t what we wanted.” 

“We still didn’t get married by earth’s traditions and if you’d rather use a different explanation, I’m good with that,” he clarified. 

“No, I really can’t think of a better one but if we’re going to use that, people are going to wonder why we have different quarters. They’ll be all sorts of gossip that we couldn’t even manage to get along for a year before separating. I mean, gossip is okay. I sometimes engage in it myself but it certainly isn’t gonna help this kid to have to deal with that.” 

“We could just try getting along,” he suggested. 

“You mean…?” she trailed off not wanting to suggest something that he hadn’t intended. “What exactly do you mean? Because I don’t want to suggest something forward that I maybe shouldn’t even be thinking about.” 

He gave her a look. “Tilly, after the dreams that we’ve both had, I know you’ve thought about it. There’s no sense in either of denying it. All I know is, I am exhausted and I could really use a decent night of sleep as much as you could. Will you at least consider sharing a space tonight so we can both get a little rest?” 

Tilly was stunned at this offer but she couldn’t deny that she wanted it as much as he did. “Yes. Some rest would be really great.” 

***


	4. Chapter 4

When they got back to his quarters Chris climbed into bed and Tilly didn’t hesitate to join him. He didn’t have to ask her to come closer. She willingly rolled close to him and accepted his hug. Having her close brought immediate relief to the sense of emptiness he had been feeling for weeks. Tilly sighed at the closeness, an indication that she too felt at peace with the nearness they shared. It was like coming home somehow. 

The closeness also brought back memories that he didn’t necessarily want to think about. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever go swimming again,” Tilly said, breaking the silence. 

“I’ve had the same thought of late.” 

“If I had come here, if I had come to you during those first few days after the pond, what would you have done?” 

“Probably something we’d regret,” he told her. “It was… it was an emotional time. I spent a lot of time training in the gym those first few weeks. I broke the head off a practice dummy. There was just too much aggression after what had happened. And then every time I saw you in passing there was something the very opposite of aggression. It was like a need to protect you from anything and everything. It just choked me up too much to even try to talk to you. It was nearly a month before I could give you an order without thinking about if whatever I was asking you to do might effect your safety. I always care about the safety of my crew, but this was different. It was primal.” 

Tilly sniffled in response. He could tell she was starting to cry. “It’s strange. I feel like I’ve missed you for months. And now that I’m here…” she didn’t finish the sentiment. She didn’t have to. 

“I know,” he said. “I feel it too.” He didn’t want her to go. Not ever. 

“You don’t feel weird about it maybe not being real?” 

“Who says it isn’t real? It’s real for the people on Faldar. Besides, I actually did take notice of you before the pond incident. I thought you were cute. It wouldn’t have been appropriate to say anything though. I did hear a rumor when I first came on board, that you told Ensign Jones who told Major Barret who told me that you said I was the hottest Captain you’d ever served under.” He said, still amused that she’d said so. 

“Oh god…” she squirmed a little with embarrassment. “I should have realized that would get back to you.” 

“My point is, there was apparently some level of attraction before all this happened. And we do seem to still have free will. If we didn’t we couldn’t have avoided each other all this time. This is as real as we want it to be.” 

Tilly didn’t say anything to that. For being such a talkative person she was strangely silent in this instance. Instead, she just cuddled a little closer to him and relaxed her breathing. He thought about kissing her just then. In fact, he couldn’t really think about much else. But Tilly had only agreed to rest near him thus far and she had just gotten done expressing discomfort about their current reality so he didn’t kiss her. He remained still until sleep came to him, which didn’t take very long at all. 

***

Tilly awoke early in the morning feeling more rested than she had in weeks, in months really. She was still wrapped up in her Captain’s embrace and she realized that she hadn’t actually had any dreams at all the previous night. No nightmares. No erotic scenarios. No schools of frogs dancing all around them. Only sleep. She moved a little, feeling stiff from being in the same position all night and as she did she felt something hard brush against her center. 

“Oh,” she said aloud without meaning to. Her dreams had been filled with this very scenario for months. Her memories recalled it vividly too, except in that instance they were under water. Unlike the day in the pond, she had no desire to get away from him now. Her breathing deepened and she remained as still as she could while she waited for him to wake up. It didn’t take long. 

“Sylvia?” he said her name huskily with half open eyes. 

“I’ve been awake a little while,” she told him. “I thought about getting up but I had to stay. You said we would try to get along.” 

His eyes widened as he took in her meaning. Then he kissed her.


	5. Chapter 5

Captain Pike left Tilly in his bed when he left his quarters that morning. She had gone back to sleep, all of her clothes still on the floor next to his bed and he hadn’t had the heart to wake her. She was taking another day of sick leave anyway to have her first maternity appointment with Dr Culber and would be returning to work tomorrow once he cleared her. There was no need to do anything other than let her sleep for now. 

He made his way to the bridge to check on the crew. Then he would go to his ready room and work on some reports that needed filing. In the afternoon he had to go over a safety checklist with the chief engineer. In all, Captain Pike felt like he had more focus to accomplish these tasks than he’d had in months. The memory of what had happened that morning was present, but only as a pleasant fog in the back of his mind. It was very unlike the obsessive consuming thoughts of Ensign Tilly that had plagued him and distracted him for weeks. This was a welcome change. 

He rounded a corner on his way to the lift and nearly walked into Stammets. 

“Sorry sir,” Stammets said, stepping aside. Then the man stopped and looked him over curiously. 

“What?” Pike asked him at the look he was getting. He knew his uniform was correct and his hair was in order but Stammets was looking at him like he had mud on his face. 

“Nothing sir, it’s just you look...happy.” 

“I don’t always look happy?” He did try to at least not be in a dour mood most of the time, for the sake of his crew. 

“I wouldn’t say that,” Stammets said, uncomfortably. “Sorry sir, I should get to…” he pointed down the hallway in the direction he’d been headed. 

Pike didn’t push Stammets for an explanation. The man was right. He was more happy than usual. 

***

Tilly awoke with a sense of euphoria that couldn’t ever remember waking with before. At least not since that time in the Academy when her roommate had brought back those against regulation snacks. This was different than that though. This was more clear and focused. 

She took a look around the room and reached for her clothes on the floor. She was in the Captain’s bed? And he had been better than she had imagined. He had been damn good. She stifled back a giggle. 

“That’s very mature,” she scolded herself. 

Once she was dressed she looked at the clock and found that it was just past 10AM. She looked down at her PJs and bit her lip. This was going to be tricky. This time of day the hallway would be occupied. Someone was bound to see her leaving the Captain’s room in her PJs if she left now. They hadn’t decided when or how they would break the news to the crew. She didn’t want it to happen like this. She paced the room a couple of times, trying to decide what to do next. She couldn’t stay in here all day. She needed a shower and a change of clothes before she went to see the doctor. She was gonna have to just hope the hallway was clear when the doors opened. Steeling herself, Tilly went to the door and pushed the button, stepping aside to at least be clear from view if anyone was immediately outside the door. She didn’t see anyone in the vicinity so she stepped out into the hallway. She wasn’t alone after all. Ensign Molina was just coming around the corner. Out of all people, why did it have to be her? 

“What are you doing in the Captain’s room?” Molina asked accusingly. Her dark hair was tied into a tight bun and Tilly couldn’t help but think that the woman’s hair was about as relaxed as her personality was. 

“Nothing I’m…” her mind spun to think of some lie to explain her presence here. “I’m returning a book I borrowed.” 

“The Captain loaned you a book?” Molina said, her tone indicating that Tilly wasn’t worthy of such an honor. 

“For the command training program, yes,” she said, with as much confidence as she could muster. 

“And is it smart to be doing that in your Pajamas?” Molina continued, looking her over suspiciously. 

“I’m off duty. I’m on sick leave.” 

“If you’re sick, the last place you should be is in the Captain’s room. You should be self isolating in your own quarters. Anyone in the command training program ought to already be aware of the recommended protocol.” 

Despite knowing that Molina was just jealous over not being selected for the program herself, Tilly didn’t have it in her to say something insulting to make the woman back off. Molina was pretty, super model pretty. If the woman would let down her hair and relax a little she would have been able to get any man she wanted. As it was she had plenty of men interested in her already. Of course Tilly knew that being pretty wasn’t everything but she couldn’t really muster the confidence to say anything all the same. 

“I think you’re up to something and you should know that the Captain will be informed of where I found you.” Molina told her threateningly. 

“Do whatever you think is right,” Tilly said and she went around Molina and headed back to her room. She ignored the smug smile on Molina’s pretty face. 

*** 

By late afternoon Captain Pike was aware that his crew was whispering about some new rumor. He arrived at engineering only to have all talk cease the way that it always did when the crew didn’t want him to know that he had been the subject of their conversation. He ignored the behavior until he heard actual whispering a few feet away and caught Tilly’s name in the midst of it all. 

“What’s this about Ensign Tilly, Cadet?” He turned to the person the young man who had been whispering and set aside his checklist tablet. 

“N-nothing sir,” the young engineer stammered. 

“I distinctly heard you say something concerning her,” he prompted firmly. 

“Only that- that she was seen coming out of your quarters this morning. She told Ensign Molina she had been returning a book she borrowed but Molina says Tilly was- was in her underwear.” The uncomfortable cadet told him. 

Pike raised an eyebrow. “I imagine Ensign Molina has exaggerated the story. It wouldn’t be the first time.” He doubted that Tilly had left in her underwear. 

“So she’s not gonna get in trouble for being in your room?” The young cadet asked, worriedly. “I don’t want to be the one who caused that.” 

“She is not.” He ignored the cadet’s informal way of addressing him this time. “I was already aware she was in my room since I left her there asleep this morning,” he told the cadet. There. Let the crew run with that gossip. It was better than having them think Tilly was sneaking around and up to something she shouldn’t be doing.

“Oh,” the Cadet reddened. He had understood. 

“Back to work,” Pike told him, unsure if he was more annoyed or amused at the situation. 

It was going to be an interesting evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I haven’t lost any readers yet :)


	6. Chapter 6

Tilly didn’t like the look on Hugh Culber’s face. She didn’t know what it meant. The man was standing there, studying a scan at the computer that he had just taken of her uterus and she could tell by the slump of his shoulders and the expression he wore that something was troubling him. 

“What? What is it?” She asked him, unable to keep the worry from her tone. She had only just decided yesterday that she was keeping the baby and could hardly believe how anxious the thought of any problems or defects made her already. 

He turned to face her. “First of all, the baby is healthy, perfectly healthy, as are you,” he began and then stopped. 

“But? There’s something else isn’t there? Something you’re not telling me?” 

“Tilly, I don’t know how to tell you this. Your baby is Faldarian.” 

“What does that mean? My baby’s not human? How is that possible? It was the pond entity wasn’t it?” She began to rattle off her questions. 

“Tilly,” he took her hand as a gesture of comfort. “I know this isn’t what you expected but your baby is perfectly healthy.” 

“Perfectly healthy with gills and webbed hands,” she said, still anxious. 

“Yeah, it seems clear now that this is how all the Faldarians acquired those features. Maybe they even communicate with the water entity once their gills are fully developed since that entity is effectively a third parent. I don’t know. I can only tell you that so far, you both seem to be in good health.” 

“Huh,” she let out a sigh as the implications of all he had said sunk in. The Faldarians she had met, had gills behind their ears which were hardly noticeable unless she was looking for them. Their webbed hands had a silver scale texture which continued part way up their arms and changed to human like skin before the elbow. Their feet had webbing almost like their hands. They were able to live either underwater or on land. They had actually been fascinating people who were very intelligent and strong. 

“Tilly, do you need some time to process this?” Hugh asked her kindly. 

“No. No- this is- this is so cool!” She said, sliding down off of the edge of the exam table. 

“I’m glad you think it’s cool,” Hugh smiled with mild relief. 

“But what if Chris doesn’t think it’s cool? What if he’s disappointed?” 

The Doctor looked a little taken aback that she was calling her Captain by his first name but he shook it off. “He wants to be involved?” 

“Yeah, he’s coming to the next appointment. He was gonna come to this one except that the safety checklist couldn’t be put off any longer so I told him he should go through with the checklist and that we would be okay without him this time. Except now I’m gonna have to break the news to him about the whole third parent thing. Why didn’t that show up in the tricorder result anyway?” She babbled. 

“The tricorder was set to scan a human so it definitely wasn’t looking for three parents. I did a more comprehensive exam this time,” he explained. “If you would rather that I be the one to break the news, I can do that.”

Tilly shook her head. “I’ll do it. I mean, he should hear it from me, right?” 

“If that’s what you prefer.”

Tilly left the sick bay and made her way back to her own quarters. She passed several crew members along the way and realized that they were looking at her a little funny. Great. Molina must have said something and whatever the woman had spread was probably only half true. Tilly’s smile had faded by the time she reached her room. She stepped through the door to her quarters and something immediately fell from the ceiling and landed on her head. It was slimy, warm. It blocked her vision and it stunk. She wiped the substance away from her eyes, realizing that it was dung from the xenobiology bay. Once her vision was cleared she could see that someone painted a word on her wall. A single word in large red letters. Slut. 

***

Captain Pike was a little surprised when Tilly didn’t come find him in the ten forward that evening. They hadn’t specifically planned to meet there. He had just assumed that she would. The hour grew late and she still didn’t show up. He checked his ready room, his quarters, and the gym, and didn’t find her there either. There was only one place left to look, her quarters. 

No one seemed to notice him arrive at her room. He rang the bell and she didn’t answer. He tried a second time and still got no response. She was in there. He could feel her presence somehow. She was in there and she was distressed. Without waiting further, he opened the doors. 

The room smelled like dung and Tilly’s fingernails were worn down and bleeding as she scrubbed at graffiti on the wall with a bristly brush. The letters were fading but he could still read them easily enough. 

“Who did this?” he asked as the doors whooshed shut behind him. 

Tilly glanced at him, her eyes red from recent crying. “I think I know who did it. I did a forensic study of the whole room before I started cleaning it up. The dung came from a calatian beetle and was never signed out of xeno. But I got a list of everyone who had access to that bay. The paint came from replicator 72 but the computer wasn’t able to tell me who had requested it. There were two fingerprints on the rigging that held up the dung bucket over the door. One of the prints was from the warehouse that the bucket came from in the first place so it’s not even someone on this ship. The other print is mine because this is apparently the bucket I used last week to help with the flooding on deck twelve. It doesn’t matter though. I still know who did this,” she said, and went back to scrubbing so hard that the blood from her fingers was making more stains than washing away. 

“Tilly…” he began. “You don’t have to do that. I can have it machine scrubbed.” 

“I don’t want it machine scrubbed,” she said, pushing the brush down harder. 

He went to her and gently pulled the brush from her hand. She allowed him to take it away from her. He set it aside and turned her hand over to look at where she had scrubbed her fingertips raw. “I’m sorry. I think this might be my fault.”

“It’s not,” she sobbed. “Ensign Molina saw me leave your room this morning. She hates me so…” 

“I was aware she saw you. Insinuations were being made that you weren’t supposed to be there, so I corrected them.”

“Oh,” Tilly said, her jaw trembling. 

“But why would Molina do this?”

“She doesn’t like that I can get things with my brain that she can’t get with her beauty. When I got into the command training program she said that all that training was going to be wasted on someone so ugly.” 

“Sounds like she missed the point of what the command training is even about. It’s not a beauty contest but if it were...if it were Sylvia, you would beat her any day.”

“Really?”

“Really. You are easily the brightest and most beautiful in the room anywhere you go,” he told her with sincerity, and then he hugged her before she could melt into a puddle of tears.


	7. Chapter 7

Once Tilly had been able to make herself stop crying, Chris had stepped back and looked her over. 

“Culber cleared you to go back to work tomorrow?” He asked. 

“He did,” she said with a wry smile. There was more she needed to tell him about that appointment but she just didn’t have the strength to face his possible disappointment just yet. 

“It’s late. You should get some sleep. This can be cleaned up tomorrow by the person responsible for putting it here. In the meantime, you can’t sleep in this smell.” He said. The dung was gone. Tilly had recently showered and yet the scent still permeated the room somehow. 

Tilly wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, probably not. You gonna make me sleep in the cargo bay?” 

“No, I was thinking that little storage closet by ten forward might be a good spot,” he joked. 

“Might as well put me in the Jeffries tubes then.” She suggested with a smile. 

“I could, except Stammets would probably find you there and try to send you right back here. Besides, I think we’d both rather just get some sleep again.” 

Tilly nodded. “Yes, but I’m gonna bring a few things this time.” She turned away to pull items from her closet. 

“Might as well bring a lot of things. I think it might take a long time to get the smell out of this room,” he suggested. 

“Are you suggesting I move in?” 

“If you did, no one is gonna graffiti your wall again. And if you should happen to need a doctor or need help in the night, then you wouldn’t be alone,” he explained. 

Tilly spun to face him. “That primal protective thing you were talking about, that didn’t go away did it?” 

He smiled a little, “Not entirely,” he was almost embarrassed to admit it. “It would be a lot easier if you could stay.” 

“I guess I could do that, for now. I feel less on edge if you’re nearby so it makes as much sense to me as it does to you. Except does this mean we’re telling the crew now?” Tilly said with relief. 

“Yeah, they already know we were together last night. That word on your wall, that does not describe you in any way and I don’t want to give anyone cause to use it again. It’s time they know we were married on Faldar.” 

“So you’re gonna, what, make an announcement on the bridge?” She was a little uncomfortable with that idea. 

“I don’t know. Something like that.” 

Tilly stood there in confusion for a moment. “Wait… who did you tell that I was in your room and why exactly did you do that?” 

“Does it really matter?” 

“It just seems like something isn’t right. That I’m too comfortable with this, that we’re rushing things… and I thought you were kinda reserved so I don’t know why you even said anything at all about what we were doing and I think I should probably be mad but I’m not. Something is very wrong.” 

He looked a little uncomfortable with her words. “I don’t know. I feel better than I have in months. Doesn’t seem like there’s anything wrong with that.” 

“I’m not kidding. What if that pond water is messing with our heads? I mean I should know. I’ve had an alien entity mess with my head before. Maybe that’s why I see it and you don’t.” 

“Why would it do that? I mean if the purpose is biological it got what it wanted. We’re having the baby.” He pointed out. 

“Yeah I know, I just can’t escape the feeling that something isn’t right,” she said, rubbing her temple while she thought it over. 

“Well maybe we should just get some sleep and see if we can’t figure it out in the morning?” 

“Fine…” Tilly mumbled, too tired to argue with that idea. She grabbed a few of her things and followed him to his room. 

***

Doctor Hugh Culber read the files on the computer screen in front of him for what had to be the twentieth time. He had been awake most of the previous night trying to make sense of this and was apparently staying awake again until he found a solution. 

“Are you staying here all night again?” Paul asked from the doorway of sickbay. 

“I have to figure this out,” he told his partner urgently but tried to convey his apology in the tone. 

“Is someone dying?” Paul took a step into the sick bay with concern etched in his features. 

Hugh minimized the files as Paul approached so that he wouldn’t see sensitive information. “No one is dying that I know of, but something isn’t right with two of my patients and I have to figure it out. Spock was supposed to be looking into this too but I don’t know what he’s found yet.” 

“What he has found,” Spock arrived just then. “Is not much of anything. If I might have a word alone with the doctor, perhaps we can resolve this more quickly with both of us working on the problem.” 

“Point taken,” Paul said. “I’ll go.” 

“So you found nothing?” High asked. 

“The redacted information is beyond my clearance level and I could not persuade the Science Academy to reveal most of the document. They did however, reveal parts of what it said.” 

“And what does it say?” 

“Apparently, a group of Vulcans visited Faldar seventy five years ago. They went there to study a plant that they hoped could mitigate the effects of Ponn Farr. They somehow involved themselves in a local quarrel there between a married trio and instead of leaving the locals to resolve it for themselves, they assisted with the divorce,” Spock explained. 

“Okay, aside from the fact that you just said married trio, why would the Vulcans interfere with the local people?” 

“I do not know. I regret that I could not be of more assistance,” Spock said. 

“Yeah me too,” Hugh said, opening the files on his screen again and turning his attention on them for the moment. 

“Those are scans of Captain Pike and Ensign Tilly?” Spock asked. “Do you have reason to believe that their experience on Faldar is a continued danger for them?” 

“I don’t have reason, I just have a feeling, a gut feeling,” Hugh said emphatically. 

Spock tilted his head to one side. “Ordinarily, I would advise against trusting any sort of gut feeling as you describe it but the Captain has been behaving in an illogical manner in recent days.” 

“I thought so too but I can’t figure out if the water entity is causing it or how exactly it would do that or why,” Hugh said, frustrated. “It’s really difficult to treat a patient that I know so little about.” 

“This would be a problem better suited to Michael Burnham’s expertise,” Spock pointed out. 

“It would be but she and Saru are stuck on a frozen moon taking ice core samples for at least three more days,” Hugh said with frustration. “Which means that I have to figure this out without her.” 

“I trust you will endeavor to do the best you can,” Spock said in an almost assuring tone. “Will you reveal your concerns to the Captain and Ensign Tilly?” 

“Not just yet. It’s probably not a good idea to alert the alien to the fact that I know he is possessing my friends,” Hugh explained. “The Faldarians are really strong and fast. If for some reason I have to relieve the Captain for medical reasons, I don’t want to give that alien any warning of what’s coming.” 

“Possession might be too strong a word,” Spock said, eyebrow raised. 

“It might not be,” Hugh said firmly. 

Spock thought about his words for a moment. “Indeed.”


	8. Chapter 8

For the second morning in a row, Pike woke up with Tilly cuddled up close to him. Her nearness was almost intoxicating somehow. Tilly awoke moments later with a sigh and a contented smile on her face. 

They got up and were soon ready to return to their duties. The pair of them stopped in front of the door, neither of them quite sure how to best exit when there were likely crew members awake and walking the halls by now. 

“So what’s the plan?” Tilly asked him. “Maybe we should just… go back to work and pretend like everything is normal?” 

The immediate rush of negative emotions he felt at her suggestion almost pushed him to argue with her and shut down that idea entirely. An announcement needed to be made. People needed to know that Tilly was not available. She was his. His? He questioned the sentiment as soon as he recognized it. This hadn’t been the first time he had felt this way concerning her but this time he realized that being possessive of her or of anyone was very unlike him. The euphoria he felt as he spent more time around her was also unlike him. 

“I think you might be right, what you said last night. Something is wrong,” Pike admitted, uncomfortable with the idea. 

“I knew it!” Tilly said, a little triumphant at his admission. Her triumph quickly changed to worry. “But what’s really going on? And what do we do?” 

“I’m booked all morning but this afternoon we could check in with the Doctor,” he suggested. 

“And we work like this isn’t happening for now?” She asked. 

“For now,” he agreed despite the possessive emotions telling him otherwise. 

When the doors opened the hallway was empty and Tilly and Pike went to their respective posts unnoticed. 

***

Hugh waited in his office for the message to get through. He had to use long range communications to reach Michael Burnham and ordinarily he would need special permission to use this particular equipment. This time, he didn’t ask. These questions needed answering and he didn’t have a better option. 

It seemed like forever waiting for the return call but eventually it came and he put it up on screen.

“Doctor Culber, how are things on board Discovery?” Burnham appeared in front of him. She wore a thick winter coat and snow and wind swirled around behind her. 

“Things here have gotten very… interesting,” he told her. “I won’t waste your time since I don’t know how long I can keep this Chanel open. You and Saru were part of the team that visited Faldar a few months back. I read your mission report and the account of how you two got separated from Tilly and the Captain in a mudslide. You had a lot to report about the gills and aquatic features of the native people. Is there anything you can tell me about the people or what happened there that wasn’t in your report?” 

“Are the Captain and Tilly alright?” Michael asked, wary. 

“What would make you ask that?” 

Saru poked his head into the area of the view screen. “Because when we finally reached the pond that our crew members had slid into, my threat ganglia were active. I never did learn why.” 

“I wondered why too,” Michael said. “I asked Tilly at least four times what had happened in that water and if she were okay and she refused to talk about it. I do know that she’s been having nightmares and if I had to guess, based on how she talks in her sleep, some of her dreams have been erotic.” 

Hugh sighed, he was already aware of most of this. “Look, I’m not supposed to share what is going on with my patients but you can tell me about that pond or about the Faldarians might be helpful at this point.” 

“Sorry, I don’t really have anything else to add. We could cut this mission short though and be back on Discovery tomorrow if it helps.” 

Hugh smiled with relief. “You just want an excuse to get off that frozen moon.” 

“I’m not gonna deny it,” Michael said. 

“We do have the minimum number of samples to work with at this point,” Saru spoke up. “We could in fact make a diversion to Faldar and learn what we can there if you could send us more information on what exactly it is you are looking for.” 

“I’m sending the files right now,” Hugh transmitted them without much guilt, knowing that the safety of his Captain and of Ensign Tilly was more important than their privacy. At least he hoped it was.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot if informational stuff. The next one will get back to the romance and drama and even a little adventure.

Saru and Michael exited their small craft on the surface of Faldar and stepped out near a jungle lake. 

“Feel that warm air?” Michael said with a smile as she climbed out. 

“It is a welcome change,” Saru agreed. 

“Speaking of welcome, looks like our welcome party is here,” she nodded towards the group of approaching natives. They might have looked human if not for the scales on their webbed hands. As it was they dressed in summer attire which was not so different from what Michael herself might have worn to the gym. 

“Greetings Michael And Saru,” the native woman spoke first. 

“It’s good to see you again, Dipar. Thank you for letting us return.” Michael said in a friendly tone. 

“Your message said you have questions for us about our ways. As I told you before, our ways are sacred to us and we do not speak of them to those who were not born here,” Dipar explained guardedly. 

“I know, and I wouldn’t ask you to do something you’re not comfortable with if it wasn’t important. Perhaps you aren’t aware that the last time we were here, two of our people fell into one of your ponds,” Michael told her. 

The native woman looked at the three others who stood with her. The oldest among them gave a nod, almost like permission of some sort. 

“A man and a woman fell into a pond?” Dipar asked. “And now she is pregnant? You need not worry. That is how all our children are born here. We are aware that things are different on other worlds but in our way there is no danger.” 

“There is no danger to you, but our people are human. It might not be the same for them as for you. Any information you can give me about your biology would be helpful at this point,” Michael said. “The last thing I was to do is ask you to do something sacreligious but the safety of our people means that I have to ask.” 

Dipar looked once again to her elders and they nodded permission once again for her to speak. “What do you wish to know?” 

“I’ve heard that your marriage ceremony involves an entity who lives beneath the water and that the entity is a third parent to your children. Is that correct?” 

“We do indeed have a marriage of three. The three are bound together in harmony. When your people fell into our water they also partook in the marriage of three,” Dipar said. 

“But they didn’t want to. They never agreed to that. They saw it as an assault. Could that be why our people are acting so strangely now? Is there a chance that this harmony you speak of was not achieved?” Michael posed the question as gently as she could. She didn’t want to accuse them of anything so drastic as possession. 

“The harmony has always been achieved,” Dipar was confused. “Even in marriages that were arranged in days long past, the harmony is achieved. The Dar, or as you call it, the water entity, helps us achieve balance. We are the Fal, and without the Dar we would be essentially like you, like a human trapped on the surface of this world. The Fal have no gills or scales and can not dive deep below the surface. Long ago this world was full of the Fal and we had hunted the surface world until it was nearly barren. Then the Dar brought us into his world beneath the water and the surface regrew and we achieved harmony and became Faldar.” 

“That’s fascinating,” Michael said, because in truth it was. “And the Dar gave the Fal a genetic component that allowed you to survive under water?” 

“Yes, the Dar is the father of our gills and scaless and is the father of our harmony.” 

“How does the Dar help you achieve this harmony? Does he influence your thoughts? Is your link with him entirely biological? Telepathic?” Burnham asked. 

“You misunderstand. There are many Dar just as there are many Fal. When a Dar has chosen a couple, we are happy to serve him and bring new life to our world. He brings us greater happiness than we would have on our own and he gives us strength to fight predators and to protect our young. For many years our people saw this relationship as entirely spiritual. We do study science now and we know that the Dar enhances the primal hormones of the Fal who are bonded with him.” Dipar explained despite being uncomfortable with discussing such matters with outsiders. 

“Primal hormones?” Michael asked, she had never heard the term but could make a pretty good guess as to what it meant. 

“Yes, any emotional response related to the care of the family unit is enhanced beyond what it would be if the Fal were a couple rather than a trio. This enhancement serves to help protect the family unit. There is also a very limited empathic component as a result of these bonds. If your people are acting differently than usual it is because these bonds are making them more emotional than usual and the heightened emotion probably does affect their decision making especially if they were unprepared for it.” 

“So is there never an instance when a Dar alone could be a threat to anyone?” Saru asked, remembering his previous encounter. 

Dipar looked to her elders questioningly. Once again they nodded their permission. “The Dar dislike other intelligent aquatic species or telepathic species. They are very territorial but they would never hurt anyone unprovoked.” 

“What if-“ Michael began but was cut short by the elder Faldarian. 

“There will be no more questions. We will give you one of our biology textbooks that our children learn from. This will answer your questions. Nothing further.” The elder said firmly. 

“Might I be permitted to take a water sample before we go?” Michael asked. 

“You may not,” the elder scowled, scaled arms crossed across his chest. 

“You may sample my DNA if it helps,” Dipar offered. “I have nothing to hide and I think you will find that there is nothing truly wrong with your people. If I can help you to learn that truth then I will be happy to contribute.” 

“Thank you,” Michael said as she got out her equipment to take a blood sample. 

***

Tilly sat on the medical table with her hands clenched into fists in her lap. Captain Pike stood at her side looking nearly as uncomfortable as she did. 

Hugh knew he needed to tell them something. Now that they were aware that something unusual was happening he couldn’t keep the truth from them. 

“I have a confession to make,” Doctor Culber said. “I had similar concerns myself. My regular check ups with the both of you over the past few months have shown an unusual pattern Sylvia, you have been on edge, anxious, and distracted until just a few days ago. Captain, it seemed like you were equally distracted and even angry until just a few days ago. At that point the both of you had a rise in dopamine. Other hormones are at elevated levels too. I had concerns that the water entity was continuing to influence you or perhaps even control you. So despite any privacy concerns, I sought help outside of the medical field. I would have told you I was doing so but I didn’t want to alert the entity if he was controlling you. If I am to be discipled for the breach of privacy then I can accept that. I did it for the safety of the ship.” 

“There will be no discipline, Dr Culber,” Pike told him. “You did exactly the right thing. Did you find anything in your search?” 

“Michael and Saru did. They visited Faldar this morning and sent me a message telling me they found something useful and that it’s not bad news. That’s all I know so far.” 

“So we have to wait until they get back tomorrow?” Tilly asked, pale and worried. “Should we do anything differently in the meantime? Like try and get the hormone levels back to normal?” 

“I don’t think we should change anything without more information,” Hugh told them. 

“So we should...probably sleep in our own rooms?” Tilly asked, her face red from asking the question. 

Hugh looked between the two of them, the way Tilly leaned in the Captain’s direction and he hovered nearby like she might break and it suddenly made sense. “That’s what caused the spike in dopamine,” he realized aloud. “If you two have been sharing a room, just keep doing that. Everyone on board will be happier if you do.” 

“Fine. We’ll come and see you again after we pick up Burnham and Saru and you’ve had a chance to compare notes,” Pike said. “In the meantime, if I really were compromised by an alien entity or become compromised in the future, I hope you wouldn’t hesitate to remove me from duty.” 

“I would not,” Hugh agreed. 

“Good. We are due for an away mission in half an hour so if we’re medically cleared, we need to get going,” Pike reminded him. 

“As far as I can tell, you’re clear,” Hugh told them. 

He watched with half a smile as the Captain took Tilly’s hand while she slid off the edge of the medical table and got to her feet. The pair of them were actually kind of cute together. He hoped it lasted despite how strangely it had begun.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve become a Star Trek fan as a result of my husband being a huge fan for most of his life. Since he is the real fan in our household, I recognize that I don’t always get the details right in Trek lore. If that happens here, I apologize. Hopefully the story will still be fun even if it doesn’t always stay canon compliant.

Captain Pike let go of Tilly’s hand just before they stepped off the lift and stepped out onto the bridge. She went to her station and he went to his chair. 

“Detmer, status update?” he said as he took his seat. 

“We will be arriving at Racknus in six minutes, sir,” the helm officer replied. 

“Good. As you all know this is a simple search and rescue mission. Starfleet received a distress call from Commander Kevin Barret two weeks ago indicating his shuttle had crashed on this world. We were the closest ship in the vicinity and assuming he is alive, we’re here to take him home. We have coordinates of a crash site and very limited information on the planet in the Starfleet Database aside from it being an M Class planet and a pre-warp society. A team of six of us will be going down there and will be as inconspicuous as possible. If we’re not able to get this done before it’s time to pick up our two absent crew members tomorrow, take a three hour detour and go get them. Then return here to wait for us. Until then, Bryce you have the bridge.” 

Pike headed for the transporter room and his pre-selected away team took the hint and followed. Besides Ensign Tilly, Pike was bringing Ensign Rause, Commander Gotthelf, Commander Nhan, and Lieutenant Gavin. 

The transporter sent them to a rural location not far from the crash site. The group materialized under the cover of a very old forest. The trees around them were massive, larger than earth’s Sequoia trees. 

“I feel like an ant,” Tilly said as she took in the sight. “These are the most massive pine trees I have ever seen.” 

“I doubt they are pine trees,” Rause corrected her. Heidi Rause was a nurse and had been brought along in case the Commander Barret had been injured in his crash landing. “This planet is too far removed from your earth to assume the trees are the same. In fact we have similar species on Betazed.” 

“Well no, I’m sure the native people don’t call them pine trees but look,” she pointed up to the branches, “They have cones, needles, the ground litter tells me they do shed their needles. Look at the pitch on that trunk. I think it’s safe to define them as pine-like.” 

“Coniferous might be a better word.” Heidi continued but she didn’t sound antagonistic. It seemed to be little more than a friendly disagreement. 

“Tree classification aside,” Pike cut in, “Our crash site is that way.” 

Commanders Gotthelf and Nhan led the way through the dimly lit forest towards the crash site. Pike waited for Tilly and ensign Rause to follow after the commanders and then he fell into line behind them alongside Gavin. 

They hadn’t gone far before Tilly tripped on an exposed root. She didn’t fall, it was just a stumble in her steps before she righted herself and continued on. That moment was all it took for Chris to realize that bringing her had been a mistake. What if something happened to get her hurt? She should have stayed back on the ship. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe he could find an excuse to transport her back. 

“Sorry if it seemed like I was correcting you,” Ensign Rause told Tilly quietly as they walked. “Facts are important to me. It was nothing personal.” 

“Understood,” Tilly said good naturedly. “And you’re right, coniferous was the appropriate word. My brain was just too...elsewhere...to think of it.” 

The team fell into silence and continued East to the edge of the forest. They could see a break in the tree line ahead where the light became brighter. 

The two security officers were the first to reach the clearing. “It’s all clear,” Nhan called back as 

Pike entered the clearing. Sure enough the crashed shuttle was there, smaller trees and brush were knocked down in the wake of the crash. Larger trees were burned. 

“He’s not here,” Commander Gotthelf stated. He was a large man of German origins with blonde hair and years more experience than anyone present.

“There’s a path over here,” Nhan called out. 

“Ensign Tilly, download any information you can get off of the shuttle computer. Ensign Rause, scan the shuttle and see if you can find any blood or signs that Barret was injured. The rest of us check the site. Then we’ll follow this path and see where it takes us.,” he ordered them. 

He disliked finding the shuttle empty. Following the forest path made it more likely that they would encounter the native people. More people meant more danger. 

Rause did her scans quickly and returned to him with a report. “I did find blood in the shuttle Captain. Some of it is old, probably from a previous mission since it was washed away. There is some blood from two weeks ago. I think it’s safe to assume Barret was injured, sir.” 

“Thank you, Ensign,” he told her. Then he ducked into the shuttle to have a word with Tilly. 

“Once you’ve finished your download, you should take it back to the ship to have it analysed,” he told her. 

“I can analyse it right here if you like, sir,” Tilly offered. “The shuttle computer is still functional.” 

“You can analyse it back on Discovery,” he told her more firmly. “That’s an order.” 

She spun her chair to face him, a look of disbelief on her face. “I’m not gonna disobey your orders, but are you just trying to get rid of me?” she asked, hurt. 

“It’s safer for you on Discovery,” he told her, having no intention of bending on that point. 

Tilly got her feet. “It’s safer here with…” she didn’t finish the sentiment but he knew what she had intended to say. She felt safer with him. “Why did you even bring me if you’re just gonna send me back?” 

“Ensign, no matter what is happening in our personal lives, I’m still the Captain.” he reminded her. 

“I’m not the one who has forgotten,” she said, still hurt. She glanced over at the console she had been working with. “The download has three minutes left. I’ll beam up as when it’s done.” 

Gavin stuck his head in the shuttle. “Captain, some of the native people are approaching up the path.”

“I’ll be right there,” he told Gavin, then turned to Tilly. “You can’t beam up now. It’ll have to wait. In the meantime, just be careful.” 

Chris stepped back out of the shuttle to meet the native people in the forest clearing. They looked mostly human aside from the fact that they had freckles in shades of blue and purple. The people, a group of eight, dressed in clothing that reminded him of earth in the middle ages. The four men among them carried swords. 

“Greetings, great ones,” one of the men spoke as they arrived and the whole group knelt down on their knees, with heads bowed. “The brethren of our God Barret have finally arrived. He prophesied that you would come for him. We will take you to his temple.” 

His temple? The Captain did not like where this seemed to be headed. Not one bit. “Greetings,” he told them. “It is true we are looking for our friend called Barret but we are only humble travelers,” he explained. 

“Indeed,” the man nodded. “The gods are always humble.” 

Tilly stepped out of the shuttle just then. 

“The gods have all brought their wives,” one of the women in the group spoke up, pleased at the idea.

“We’re not gods,” he told them, despite knowing that it might be too late to correct the notion. “We didn’t all bring our wives.” 

“Oh…” the man who had first greeted them spoke again, “Surely you do not do such evil as to travel with women who are not your wives?” he asked, his companions looked as horrified as he sounded. 

“I travel with my father,” Ensign Rause spoke up and she stepped over next to Commander Gotthelf who shared her blonde hair color and was the right age to be her father. “I am not an evil doer.” 

Gotthelf nodded his agreement. He would play the role of her father for the duration of this mission. Heidi’s quick thinking had likely saved them a lot of trouble just then. 

“Yes, Rause travels with her father,” Pike affirmed. “I travel with my wife Tilly, and Gavin with his wife Nhan.” 

The people before them were visibly relieved. “We bestow our praises,” the spokesman said, then he got to his feet. “Come, we will take you to the temple of Barret.” 

The group of Starfleet officers soon fell into line behind the native people heading into an unfamiliar city on an unfamiliar planet. 

***

The city of the native people was made of stone buildings with thatch roofs and cobblestone streets. Some people rode on animals for transportation or pulled a cart with a creature that looked much like a large goat. They soon learned the creatures were called darochs. Some men carried swords or wore a bronze colored armor. The city was surrounded by walls and had a gate that was kept closed at night to keep out some danger that everyone seemed to know was out there but no one dared to name. 

Tilly walked alongside the Captain and listened while their companions told them all about the city. They seemed to enjoy giving travelers a tour of what they called their greatest city, Marlotta. She was listening to what they were saying but she was also distracted. It still made her mad that he had tried to send her back. She had worked too hard and too long to just be sent back because he didn’t think she could handle herself. 

“And here,” their guide, a man called Arbus, “Here is the temple of Barret.” 

It was a large structure that could only be described as a cathedral. Impressive. 

“May we see him? May we meet Barret?” The Captain asked. 

“You may approach his throne, yes. He will decide if you may come forward. If you are his brethren as foretold, he will greatly rejoice to see you.” Arbus said hopefully. “And perhaps I will be rewarded for bringing you to him.” 

“Perhaps,” Pike said uncomfortably. 

Tilly could see that he was angry. In fact, she could feel that he was angry. She didn’t know how she was doing that. 

The group of the entered the cathedral. It had high ceilings, rows of benches, and many windows letting in plenty of light. People were gathered sparsely on the benches, praying. A group of native people knelt near the throne at the front. And there on the throne sat a man in Starfleet uniform. 

Once again, Tilly could feel her Captain’s anger at the sight of Barret. She understood why he was angry. Barret had clearly violated the prime directive and had apparently done so for personal gain. What she didn’t understand was how she could feel his anger. 

They reached the front of the room and Barret waved away the people who prayed at his feet. Then he waved forward the Starfleet group. 

“You’re meant to kneel when you approach this throne,” Barret said, his accent decidedly from the British isles. 

“I will not kneel,” Pike said evenly. “Are you commander Kevin Barret?” 

“I was called that once,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“You were called that two weeks ago. Now you call yourself god?” Pike asked him. 

“Yes, and when you approach a god, you should kneel,” Barret told them. He motioned to the attendants who stood at either side of the throne. There were twelve men, six on either side of his throne in full armor with swords and shields. At the motion of Barret’s hand they stepped forward to do his bidding. “Kneel.” 

“I told you. I will not kneel. Our people know we are here. If you don’t cooperate, or if anything were to happen to us, they’ll send more people to find you.” 

Barret smiled a little as if he were amused at the threat. “I don’t think anyone is going to do that. Our people dislike such interference. Sending more people for me would mean a lot of these local people would die trying to defend their god. No one wants that.” 

“What sort of a god needs defending?” Pike asked. 

“Oh I don’t need it. They know that. They defend me to honor me. That’s why they brought you here to me, just like I asked them to do.” Barret explained. “Arbus will be rewarded well for his service. Unfortunately you all need to go home. Can you do that peacefully?”

Pike shifted his weight as if he were trying to decide what to say next. Barret spoke again instead. 

“I think you can’t leave peacefully. I imagine you are under orders to rescue me. As you can see, I don’t need rescue. But I can see that you’re deeply inclined to follow orders. Which means I’ll have to lock you up until you change your mind,” Barret waved his guards forward and they surrounded the Starfleet group. “There’s no need to take them to the dungeon. Put them in the garden cottage near the palace and post a guard of eight men. Make sure they are fed. I will not have it said that I treated them cruelly. I am a merciful god, after all.” 

There was nothing else to be done except to go with the guards out of the temple and into the streets towards the edge of the city and the garden cottage.


	11. Chapter 11

There were only two bedrooms in the garden cottage. It was a primitive dwelling with stone floors. It had an open area and fire pit in the center and an opening in the roof to let out the smoke. There were two bedrooms and a privy which seemed to have some access to water by use of an aqueduct which ran across the entire city. The group sat on the wooden benches surrounding the fire pit and talked in hushed tones. 

“I can’t believe the guards only took our communicators,” Tilly said. 

“They never even searched us,” Gavin said, “I still have my phaser.” 

“Barret said to post eight guards but I only count five,” Nhan pointed out. “We’re not even in a real dungeon. This is just some cottage with a flimsy door and a straw roof.” 

“It’s as if he wants us to escape,” Pike agreed. “But why?” 

“Because he wants us to die,” Heidi said sadly, her eyes on her hands and not on her companions. 

“No one is going to die,” the Captain assured her. 

“You misunderstand me, Sir,” Ensign Rause looked up at her companions, her face flush. She looked as if she wanted to say something more but she lost her nerve, shook her head. “Never mind. It’s not important.” she mumbled. 

But Captain Pike was wise enough to realize that young Ensign hadn’t been just speaking from fear or worry about Barret. She had some insight to offer but was reluctant to share it. At the moment, he could use whatever insight he could get. “But what if it is important?” he asked her. “We all have something to contribute here on this team. If you’ve observed something worth sharing, we need to know about it.” 

“You’re right,” Heidi nodded as if she were gathering her courage. “If I tell you what I know, I’ll be breaking the law. Not Federation law, but the laws of my people and my homeworld. It’s not an easy task for me to accomplish, no matter how important my information is,” she brushed away a few unwanted tears. 

The group waited patiently for Heidi to gather her thoughts and continue. It took her only a moment. 

“As you know, Betazed has only been part of the Federation for six years. There are only a handful of my people in Starfleet. Our government doesn’t want it known that our people have certain...abilities. I was asked, no I was threatened, and told that my abilities must remain secret from the Federation. If I tell you now, may I have your word that the secret will remain here with the six of us?” 

“If your secret is no threat and is only of help to your team then we’d be perfectly willing to keep it,,” Pike told her sincerely.. 

The others nodded in agreement. 

“I am a telepath and empath. Most of my people are as well but we have a range of abilities and some can project thoughts and emotions onto others. Some of my people can choose not to read minds at all. I happen to be one that can’t filter out the thoughts of others as well as I might like.” Heidi let the words spill out. “So that’s how I know. Barret wants to kill us. He wants us to try to escape and die in the attempt. When I got near him there was so much anger and hatred pouring off of him that it was crippling.” 

“Oh,” Pike said, a little surprised at what she had told him. It wasn’t too disturbing though given that he had worked with Vulcans and they too had telepathic abilities. “Well, did you learn anything else from him while we were in that temple?” 

“Only that he likes power and likes having the people worship him,” Heidi said,” But I’m sure you could all see that for yourselves. I was honestly trying not to listen. It’s rude to read people’s thoughts on most worlds and I make every effort to allow people their privacy. It doesn’t always work but I try.” 

“I appreciate your efforts Ensign but while we are here, I want you to learn anything you can from the local people. If the guards come near to bring food, get whatever information you can, is that understood?” he told her. 

“Yes sir,” she agreed. 

“Good,” Pike told her and wondered exactly how much other information the young woman was also aware of. 

***

Late that night Tilly could not sleep in the bedroom she shared with Nhan and Heidi. She tossed and turned on the straw mattress but simply couldn’t breathe because she was probably allergic to straw or to something nearby. It wasn’t just the allergies keeping her awake though. It was the fact that they were trapped on this alien world and that she felt exceeding lonely in this room. She turned yet again and Heidi moved at her side. 

“Tilly?” The woman whispered. “You can’t sleep either?” 

“Nope, but we better be quiet so Nhan can sleep,” Tilly said, not because she didn’t want to talk to Heidi and more because she was afraid she would start crying if she did. 

“Nhan went out to sleep on the floor by the fire. She disliked your snoring,” Heidi explained. 

“Sorry. Sorry if I’m keeping you awake,” Tilly said. 

“It’s not your snoring that keeps me awake. It’s your emotional state. Yours and the Captains.” 

“Right. I guess you would know about that,” Tilly said, still unsure how much Heidi had become aware of. 

“I know about everyone’s emotional state. Sometimes it’s a burden and sometimes it just helps me get to know them better. You were a year ahead of me in the Academy. I remember seeing you around and what I remember most is the feeling of your optimism and boundless curiosity every time you were nearby. That’s my favorite thing about you most of the time. Except lately, your emotions have been all over the place. Are you scared of becoming a mother?” 

“I…” Tilly was taken aback for a moment but only for a moment because she realized she actually did want to talk about this. It might help to talk through it. “I’m scared I won’t be a good mother and I’m scared of how I’ll feel about my baby not being fully human and how Chris is going to react when he finds out and I’m a little scared of what’s gonna happen on this planet and right now I’m so mad at Captain Pike that I don’t even have the energy to be scared.” 

“He’s only trying to protect you. I didn’t even know humans had emotions that strong until now. So much protective energy coming from him…” Heidi said, in a whisper that almost sounded sad. 

“Really?” Tilly asked. 

“Definitely.” 

Tilly fell silent for a moment before speaking again. “So you must like know so much gossip. More than anyone on the whole ship.” She was amused at the idea of getting Heidi to tell her something, anything that she might not know otherwise. “What can you tell me?” 

“Tilly…” Heidi’s tone held an amusement of her own. “You are so bad. I can’t tell you that.” 

“Please? At least tell if Detmer and Decker really are a thing?” 

“I can’t…” Heidi said, but she was starting to laugh. “I have to admit, I didn’t think any of you would react like this to learning about my abilities.” 

“Your abilities are awesome. How else were we supposed to react?” Tilly asked. 

“With fear and suspicion I thought.” 

“Not from me,” Tilly said. “Will you tell me just one juicy bit of gossip, just one? Please?” 

“I’ll think about it,” she said with a laugh. “For now we should try to get some sleep.” 

“Nope, I don’t think sleep is happening for me,” Tilly told her. 

“I could help you with that. I can project feelings onto people. I can help you relax.” She offered. 

“Maybe...maybe that would help.” 

Heidi reached over and took Tilly’s hand, sharing with her peaceful thoughts and feelings. Moments later Heidi wrenched her hand away. 

Tilly opened her eyes to see Heidi looking very frightened. “What? What happened?” 

“He did not like that!” Heidi gasped. 

“Who didn’t?” 

“HE didn’t. The presence that binds you and the Captain. He will kill me if I try to interfere with you again. That’s what he said, that he will kill me.” Heidi scooted a little away from Tilly. 

“Hell, there is no way I’m sleeping now,” Tilly got up and lit a candle, too worried to go back to sleep just yet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is getting Trek weird.

Captain Pike awoke with a start and was out of bed and on his feet in an instant. He headed straight for the other bedroom in the cottage without even being aware that he was going there. Nhan sat up from her place by the fire as he passed by. 

“Captain?” she called after him, concerned. 

He was dimly aware of her presence but ignored her and went for the bedroom door, pounding on it loudly. Tilly opened the door and he gently pushed her aside, needing to get to the source of the threat. 

“Captain?” Nhan was yelling at him. “Put down the phaser!” 

The Captain looked down at his hands and saw that he carried a phaser and that he had aimed it at Ensign Rause. He glanced to his side to see Nhan had aimed her own weapon at him. 

“Captain,” Nhan said more gently this time. “Put down the phaser.”

Stunned at where he found himself, Christopher realized that he wanted to put down the phaser but he couldn’t actually move. 

“Tell him I’ll never do it again,” Ensign Rause said, shaken. 

“Tell who?” Nhan asked, “The Captain is right here. He can hear you.” 

Gotthelf and Gavin were exiting the bedroom to see what all the commotion was about. 

“Tell him!” Heidi shouted, her voice breaking from emotion. “I swear I will never interfere again and I’m sorry that I disturbed him. Please?” 

At that, Pike felt himself regain control and he threw his phaser to the ground and took a step back. “I’m sorry…” he said, still not entirely sure what had just happened. He took a few steps to the bench near the fire and sank down onto it. 

“What the hell just happened?” Nhan asked. 

Tilly exited the bedroom and sat down next to him on the bench. She hugged him and what he had just experienced had been too disturbing for him to care what the crew thought if he hugged her in return, so he did. 

“What is going on?” Nhan asked a second time. 

“I can explain,” Heidi offered. “With your permission?” 

“Go ahead,” he agreed. Maybe she could make more sense of it than he could. And he was too drained to speak at the moment. 

“On our mission to Faldar three months ago, the Captain and Tilly fell into a pond. Ever since then they have carried with them an alien entity.” Heidi explained. “Usually, he is asleep. I didn’t intend to wake him. I’m sorry.” 

“You knew all this time that we were possessed by an alien?” Tilly asked, a little angry. 

“No. I knew that you carried part of an alien and I knew that he was asleep. Tonight I learned that the rest of him sleeps in a pond of Faldar and shares its life force with you both. To do that, to remain alive, he has to stay asleep all but a few days a year when he wakes to eat. I didn’t know that my telepathy would wake him or that it would threaten his life.” 

“So this entity took possession of the captain to try and kill you?” Nhan asked. 

“It looks that way,” Heidi agreed. 

Though the Captain was thankful that Heidi had been discreet about the details, he wasn’t sure that discretion was the best route given the circumstances. “Dr Culber was aware that something unusual was going on, that both myself and Ensign Tilly have had elevated hormone levels as a result of this alien. I see now that I should have undergone further testing before going on an away mission.” 

“And I should have just gone on maternity leave,” Tilly sniffled. 

“You’re pregnant?” Nhan asked. 

Tilly nodded. 

“At the moment, we need to focus on getting our communicators back,” Pike said, effectively changing the subject. “If we don’t contact Discovery they’ll send a team down here to find us. It’s better if we don’t disturb the native people any further than they already are. In the meantime Nhan, if anything like this morning happens again, just shoot me, set to stun preferably.” 

“Yes sir,” Nhan agreed. 

“The guards said they’d bring food again this morning,” Pike reminded them. “Ensign Rause, if you can manage to find out where they have put our communicators it would save a lot of trouble when we’re ready to break out of here.” 

“I’ll do my best, sir,” she said, still shaken by what had just happened. 

***

It was good to be back on Discovery. Michael found that it surprised her sometimes, how much the ship felt like home. She and Saru stepped off their docked shuttle and made their way to their quarters. Both of them were looking forward to some rest in their own beds for once. Michael shifted the bag she carried to her other shoulder just as she reached her room. She was aware that Tilly wouldn’t be there. Her room mate was on an away mission along with Captain Pike and a few others. Though she liked Tilly, it might be nice to have a few hours of quiet, free of her chatter. 

The doors to the room opened and when Michael stepped inside she discovered that she was not alone after all. 

“Ensign Molina, what are you doing here? What happened here?” The room smelled vaguely of dung and Molina was washing faded writing off the wall. Michael looked closer and could see remnants of the word slut. 

“I’m sorry. I was supposed to do this yesterday but I had to work a double shift because Decker was sick,” Molina explained, without explaining anything at all. 

“Okay, but is that word on my wall? And what is that smell?” 

Molina spun to face her. “Maybe you should ask Tilly.” 

Micheal was offended at what Molina was insinuating. “Tilly isn’t that kind of a person and even if she were, she’s an adult.” 

“Sure, people can see who they wanna see. Adults can have whatever relationships they want,” Molina’s tone was tinged with anger and sarcasm. “But sleeping with the Captain to get into the command training program is taking it a little too far, don’t you think?” 

“Tilly was accepted to that program before Captain Pike came aboard,” Burnham reminded her. 

“And who do you think makes sure she stays in? She can’t possibly be doing that on her own.” 

“Yes,” Michael put her bag on the bed and tried to tame her own anger in the process. “Yes, she can.”

“Why else would she be sleeping with the Captain? He’s so boring and he’s old….” Molina said, genuinely confused. 

“If that’s what’s going on, I’m sure they have their reasons. Maybe they genuinely care for each other.” 

“Gross,” Molina said, putting down her cleaning supplies. “I can come back and do this later if you want?” 

“That would be best. I need to get some sleep,” Michael told her. 

Molina exited the room and Michael sank down onto the bed. Her thoughts were spinning wildly. There was no way she could sleep just yet. She needed to talk to Hugh. 

Michael headed off to sickbay for a quick word with the Doctor and met Spock coming out of his room. 

“It's good to see you have returned safely,” Spock said on seeing her. 

Michael resisted the urge to smile. “It’s good to see you too. I’m just on my way to brief Doctor Culber about the situation that happened on Faldar. Are you going that way?” 

“I too am going to see Doctor Culber with updated information about that same scenario. Perhaps the three of us will finally be able to resolve this mystery.” 

They reached sick bay and Hugh put down his tricorder when he saw them enter. “Tell me you have good news?” 

“I have weird news,” Michael said 

Spock raised an eyebrow. “I too have news that is highly unusual.” 

“Well… out with it,” Hugh said. “The captain and Tilly are on a strange planet right now and if they are in danger we need to get them out of there sooner.” 

“I don’t know that they are necessarily in danger,” Michael began. “I learned from my discussion with the Faldarians and from the book that they gave me that there were originally two sentient species on their planet. The Fal were very much like humans and the Dar was one of many water entities that Tilly and the Captain encountered. Apparently, long ago the Fal had over hunted their planet and were in danger of extinction. So they somehow made an agreement with the Dar that he would give the ability to hunt in the water. After that they had marriages of three, with the Dar giving the Fal aquatic features and causing a spike in hormones to protect the family unit. The Faldarians assured me that our people are perfectly safe and the only threat would be if they encountered another aquatic race or a telepathic one but they didn’t explain what would happen if that were to occur.” 

“I believe I can offer some insight in that area,” Spock said. “I was able to contact one of the member of the Vulcan team who visited Faldar seventy five years ago. He was at first reluctant to even admit that he had been on the mission but when I explained the situation to him, he agreed to help.” 

“What did you learn?” Michael asked, curious. 

“The Vulcans did indeed visit Faldar looking for a plant that had been rumored to grow there. However, after they arrived, they witnessed a murder. A Faldarian man brutally murdered a neighbor over the theft of a fish. His people let the murder go unpunished believing that any defense of survival was permissible. 

The murderer however, was overcome with guilt. He came to the Vulcan team and requested their assistance in learning to control his emotions as our people do. At first they tried to teach him meditation and though it was helpful it soon became clear that the Dar was responsible for his heightened emotions. At that point they attempted a telepathic link. This link was a threat to the Dar and it took possession of the native man who then tried to kill the Vulcan team. 

The Faldarian, while possessed by the Dar was significantly stronger than he had been otherwise. Two Vulcans were killed in the encounter. They did eventually manage to subdue him and to break the telepathic link as well. The people called it a divorce but the man went back to his wife as before, still feeling great affection for her. 

In the days that followed the lake where the Dar had lived turned green and began to emit a stench of death. Those who drank water from the lake became terribly ill and died. Those who ate fish from the lake suffered the same fate. In all, eighty seven Faldarians lost their lives as a result of severing this link.” 

“That’s why it was redacted?” Hugh asked. “The Vulcans didn’t want people knowing that their attempt to help ended so badly.” 

“It was the Faldarians who didn’t want it known,” Spock explained. “They requested that the entire encounter be kept quiet and in exchange they would not retaliate for the interference we had caused. They believed that if the entirety of their people knew the truth, it would cause unbalance and be destructive to their ways. So the Vulcan team agreed to keep the secret in exchange for being allowed to leave the planet without prosecution. 

“So this means that the Dar could take possession of the Captain or Tilly at any time,” Michael said, worriedly. 

“If it felt significantly threatened, yes.” Spock affirmed. 

“Then we should be figuring out how to break the link,” Michael said. 

“I am not convinced the link can be broken without significant loss of life on Faldar,” Spock reminded her. 

“We can’t just do nothing,” Hugh said. 

“You’re right,” Michael said with a sigh. “So much for getting some sleep. Can I see your most recent scans of Tilly and the Captain?” 

“Yeah, over here,” Hugh brought the both of them to a work station. 

This was going to be a long day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter!

Tilly had needed to go Chris and hug him after the incident that morning. She had felt his distress at what had happened and hadn’t really even thought about what her crewmates would think if she just suddenly up and hugged the Captain. She knew he was overcome with guilt at having aimed a phaser at Heidi and she knew that it hadn't actually been him that had done it. She had felt the water entity awaken the same as he had and apparently Heidi had felt it too. It was all very terrifying and now that it was over, she was thankful that no one said anything about them sitting by the fire with his arm around her. The team had in fact moved to the bedroom to talk in hushed tones and had left the pair of them sitting there alone. 

“Do you think they’re planning a mutiny?” Tilly asked, worriedly. 

“Would you blame them if they were?” 

“I guess not,” she admitted. “That was all pretty scary.” 

“You’re not kidding,” he agreed. “I would tell them to tie me up now until we get back to the ship but that might be a threat to whatever this thing is and even that could end badly.” 

“I think it’s gonna end badly no matter what we do,” Tilly said sadly. 

Chris shook his head. “Hey…. that’s not the optimistic Tilly I’m used to.” 

“It’s not. She’s been taken over by an evil water entity,” she said, brushing away a few tears. 

“I don’t know about taken over. At least not entirely. We’re still ourselves right now, aren’t we?” 

“I guess,” she sniffled. “There’s something you should know and there hasn’t been a good time to tell you.” 

“What is it?” he asked, seeming to realize that this was something important. 

“Doctor Culber says the baby has the DNA of three parents.” 

“Oh,” he let out a breath. 

“He says that the baby will have gills and scales like the Faldarians and maybe that’s how all the people there acquired those features.” 

Chris stared into the fire not saying a word but clenching his fists while he watched the wood burn. 

“Are you angry?” Tilly asked, able to feel some of his frustration. 

“Only at my lack of choices,” he said. “Not at you, certainly not at the baby.” 

Tilly let out a shaky breath. Chris tightened his arm around her. “We’ll figure this out.” 

“I know,” she nodded, though she had no idea how that would happen. 

*** 

When the team emerged from the bedroom Chris expected that they would have something to say to explain their absence. 

“Captain,” Gotthelf spoke first. “We have decided in light of what just happened that you and Ensign Tilly should remain inactive on this mission. We are not removing you from duty. We are requesting that you step back until we return to Discovery.” 

“That’s fair,” he agreed. 

“Thank you sir,” Gotthelf seemed relieved that it had gone so smoothly, “In the meantime, we have a plan in place to get back our communicators. You two will remain here while we do that. You will be beamed aboard as soon as we can get a message to the ship. All that you need to do is wait here.” 

It was still dark out. Soon the team had broken the flimsy door and slipped out into the night. 

Once they were gone he got up and put the broken door back in place, making it less obvious that there had been an escape. Then he went back to the fire and sat at Sylvia’s side, taking her hand as he did so. She leaned close enough to rest her head on his shoulder. 

They stayed there in silence. There was no real need for words. Tilly was afraid and she took comfort in the nearness as much as he did. For now that would have to be enough.


	14. Chapter 14

Michael had fallen asleep at her computer when she awoke to Spock speaking at her side. 

“Michael, the away team has made contact. They will be beaming aboard the Captain and Tilly at any moment,” Spock told her. 

“Oh, I should be there,” Michael rubbed her eyes and got up to head for the transporter room. 

“I assumed you would wish to be there. I also think that I may have found a viable solution to our problem while you slept,” Spock followed her towards the door. 

“Did you?” Michael asked. 

“Do I detect annoyance in your tone?” Spock asked her. “Finding a solution to this problem was not intended to be a competitive endeavor.” 

“Of course it wasn’t,” she agreed. “I was only annoyed that I didn’t find any solution for myself. What did you discover?” She asked as they walked. 

“Only that if any Fal that were part of a married trio on Faldar were to die, they are able to keep the Dar alive by means of a quick remarriage to another party,” Spock explained. 

“Oh that is good news. Maybe the Faldarians can find a willing couple to take the Captain and Tilly’s place and somehow set them free.” 

“That seems to be within the realm of possibility. However, I doubt it can be done while Ensign Tilly is pregnant. It would be too dangerous to all parties involved but most especially to Tilly. After she has given birth it may be a viable option.” 

“Okay… so, things will need to stay as they are for six more months. That’s not so bad,” Michael mused as they reached the transporter room. 

Spock and Michael stepped into the transporter room as the Captain and Tilly materialized. The pair were holding hands. 

“Michael!” Tilly exclaimed on seeing her and she ran down off the transporter platform and threw her arms around her room mate. 

“It’s good to see you too Tilly,” Michael genuinely meant those words. 

“So much stuff has happened that you wouldn’t even believe it,” Tilly said as she pulled away. 

“You might be surprised,” Michael said and she glanced at Spock. “Maybe I should just update Tilly back in our quarters?” 

Spock nodded, “I will give the Captain a similar update myself.” 

“Spock, be careful,” she warned, concerned that his telepathic abilities would be a problem. Spock nodded his understanding but did not speak of it. 

Michael put her arm around Tilly and led her back to their room. Tilly wrinkled her nose at the smell as the doors opened. 

“I thought Molina was supposed to clean this up,” Tilly crossed the room to her bed and sat down sliding back to the wall. 

“She was working on it. I sent her out. What happened Tilly? She seemed to be under the impression that there was something going on between you and the Captain but that’s just a rumor?” 

“It’s not just a rumor,” Tilly sighed. “Molina caught me coming out of his room in my PJs.” 

“You spent the night in his room?” Micheal wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

Tilly bit her lip, her cheeks flushed red. “Two nights and I’m not sorry.” She smiled a little to herself. “I’m not the least bit sorry.” 

“I might be inclined to think that your being there is all because of the water entity except that I remember you saying you thought Captain Pike was hot back before we ever visited Faldar. I noticed that you were crushing on him for weeks before we went there.” 

“You noticed that?” 

“Tilly, you’re not exactly what anyone would call reserved and sometimes your emotions are evident all over your face. I knew you liked him.” 

“I do like him,” she said, relieved to admit it. “In fact I like him a lot. He has been really sweet to me this whole time except that I was really mad at him once for a little while but that doesn’t matter anymore and those two nights…” Tilly wiggled her feet on the bed as if she were doing a happy dance and unable to keep back her excitement. “Oh my god, those were the best two nights ever!” 

Micheal smiled and sat down next to Tilly on the bed, sliding back to rest her back against the wall as Tilly had done. “I'm glad you’re happy. I’ve been worried about you. Dr Culber contacted Saru and I because he was worried about you.” 

“He did? Then I guess you know about the rest of my news and that...I’m pregnant.” 

Michael nodded. “He told us and he told us about the third set of DNA. How are you doing with all that?” 

“I don’t know. I’m confused and scared and happy all at once. I’m worried that I won’t be a good mom but I’m determined to be better than my mother was. And honestly, I’m okay with the aquatic features that my baby will have. It doesn’t really matter to me. I was worried what Chris would think of it too but he seems to be okay with it. He’s more worried about the whole incident with Ensign Rause right now anyway.” 

“What incident with Ensign Rause?” Michael asked. 

“They didn’t tell you about that before they beamed us up?” 

“If the away team did tell the bridge crew something, it never got passed on to me. What happened Tilly?” 

“It’s supposed to be a secret, at least Heidi’s part in it is. Can you keep it to yourself?” Tilly asked. 

“Of course,” Michael agreed. 

Michael sat and listened while Tilly poured out the whole story of what had happened on their away mission and how Heidi had become involved. When Tilly was finished Michael explained everything that she had learned about the Fal and the Dar and that there was hope of severing the connection eventually. 

“So…” Tily wiped away her tears with a sniffle. “Do you think it’s real, what the captain and I have been feeling lately?” 

“Of course it’s real. It’s just more intense than it might have been without the Dar. Everything I’ve learned so far tells me that the Dar works with emotions and hormones that you already have. It doesn’t create new ones. In fact it’s asleep most of the time, probably sharing its dreams with you, unless threatened. Even the couple that Vulcans tried to help stayed together after severing the ties with their Dar. The emotions you have been feeling are your own. I’m sure of it,” Michael told her, fully convinced that it was the truth. 

“Thanks Michael. I hope you’re right.”

“I’m almost always right,” Michael assured her. 

***

After a long discussion with Spock, and a quick checkup by Dr Culber, Captain Pike decided to confine himself to his room for the time being. He wanted to be sure that there were no further effects after the incident just a few hours earlier. He had however contacted his away team for an update and learned they were currently hiding in a barn not far from Barret’s temple and watching for a chance to capture the man alone and unawares in order to discreetly transport him offworld. Satisfied that it was a viable plan, Pike had left them to continue their mission without him. 

He was very tired having not really slept the previous night. He was well aware that he probably wouldn’t be sleeping tonight either. Not alone. Not without Tilly. A few hours went by, restless, until he realized that Tilly was at the door. He got up and opened his door to find her standing there as expected. 

“Michael is asleep,” she said as explanation. “I think she’s been awake for like thirty six hours so I figured I’d just slip out and…” 

“Come in,” he told her and she did as asked, the doors shutting behind her. 

“Michael told me about all the research they’ve been doing on Faldar. I take it Spock told you?” 

“He did. It doesn’t change anything Tilly. I’m still willing to see this through if you are. Even if we can’t sever ties after the baby is born, we’ll just have to figure out how to function with the Dar just like the Faldarians do. Obviously, no more telepathy though.” 

“Obviously not,” she said, moving a little closer to him. “Except, I’m pretty sure I know what you’re thinking right now.” 

“That’s not telepathy,” he said, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her closer. 

“Oh yeah? Then what is it?” 

“It’s just a pattern. It’s what you’ve learned to expect if men like you.” 

“First of all,” Tilly began sounding mildly offended. “I haven’t had enough relationships to establish a pattern. Secondly, you sir, aren’t the type to fit into stereotypes and patterns.”

“There’s no need to call me sir,” he said. 

“Of course not, sir,” Tilly giggled. He ended her giggles with a kiss.


	15. Chapter 15

Tilly awoke feeling happy the next morning. It was only after Chris had left the room and gone to the shower that realized her mistake. She had forgotten to bring a change of clothes. Again. She sighed with frustration knowing that there was only one way out of this mess. Tilly wrapped herself in the bedsheet rather than wear her dirty clothes and crossed the room to the Captain’s computer console. She logged into her personal account and sent a quick message to her roommate. 

_Michael are you awake? !!!!!_

Seconds passed and Michael sent her reply. 

_I am. I can guess where you are._

“Don’t be so smug,” Tilly said aloud before sending the next message. _I hate to ask this, but can you bring me a change of clothes?_

_Already on it, but only this once._

_You’re a lifesaver!!!!_

Tilly logged off the computer console and went back to the bed to wait. She worried how Michael might actually accomplish the task of leaving the clothes for her. Would she bring them in? That would just be awkward. She should have told her to leave them outside the door. But then Tilly would have to grab from them outside the door without being seen. There was simply no way to get out of this without embarrassing herself or alerting at least someone on the crew to where she was. She didn’t want another encounter like the one with Molina. She wasn’t sure she could handle that right now.

Chris came out of the shower and found her wrapped in a sheet gazing at the door with a look of anxiety. 

“Something wrong?” he asked. 

“Michael is bringing me a change of clothes but getting them is going to be problematic.” She explained. 

“I’ll meet her in the hallway,” he offered, solving the whole dilemma for her. Chris exited the room and Tilly breathed a sigh of relief. 

It was a few minutes before he came back with the bag that Michael had sent. He passed them to her with a look of bemusement. “You should just keep some things in this room after this. I’ll clear out a drawer.” 

“That would probably save us a lot of embarrassment and awkwardness in the future,” Tilly said, trying not to make it more awkward and only making it worse. “I guess last night I thought I was just gonna you know, stop in and say goodnight and go back to my room. I should have planned for other contingencies.” 

“Last night was not a contingency,” he took a seat at her side on the bed. 

“It wasn’t?” she asked, suddenly flush at his nearness. 

“A contingency is something that is possible but can’t be predicted with certainty,” he reminded her with half a smile. “You and I were never a contingency. At least that’s not how I see it.” 

Tilly let out a soft gasp at his words. She didn’t know if she believed in fate but it meant something to her that he would say something like this. 

“I have to be on the bridge in five minutes,” he leaned closer and kissed her, all too briefly, then he got up and exited the room. 

Tilly waited until he had left the room to let out a squeal of joy. 

***

Captain Pike stepped onto the bridge and became aware that once again he had just interrupted some sort of gossip probably concerning him. He knew why. The away team had to have given some sort of explanation for why he and Tilly had returned to the ship. He didn’t owe them an explanation. As Captain, he could continue to go about his day and pretend it wasn’t happening. It would be better though if he gave his crew an explanation that served to build their trust going forward. 

“I assume that all of you are wondering about my condition given that Ensign Tilly and I returned from the away mission prematurely,” Pike said as he sat into his chair. “Maybe you’ve even heard that the Ensign and I encountered an alien entity on Faldar some months ago and that this entity continues to influence us. There is some truth to what you’ve heard. However, all of our research and technology tells us that we are perfectly capable of carrying out our duties as we have always done as long as we take certain precautions. So for now we will move forward and do our duties as usual,” he told them and gave them a moment to process his words. “Mr. Saru, do you have an update from the away team?” 

“Yes Captain, Gotthelf reports that they have intelligence that Barret will be dining alone in the temple garden this afternoon with only four guards. They hope to approach him during that time and apprehend him.”

“Good,” Pike said with a nod. “There may not be any way to undo the damage Barret has done to that civilization but if we can remove him we can hopefully minimize it.” 

“Actually Captain, they may be a solution to that,” Saru told him. “Many cultures have a pantheon of gods who range from good to evil. If perhaps we could learn more about the religion already established there, we could frame Barret’s presence and disappearance into that context.” 

“You’re saying we should allow the people to believe a greater god took him away?” Pike asked. 

“It might be a better alternative than having them realize that he came from a starship.”

“We’ll let the people make that conclusion on their own after the away team accomplishes their mission,” Pike said. 

“And if they do not accomplish the capture this afternoon?” Saru asked. 

“We’ll see what happens,” The captain was unwilling to commit to further interference just yet. 

The doors to the lift opened just then and Michael Burnham stepped onto the bridge. She approached the Captain’s chair. “I found something that you should know, Captain.” 

He nodded for her to continue. 

“I’ve been doing some scans of the planet to get a look at the local wildlife. Besides the massive trees down there, they have plants and animals typical to many M Class worlds. And they have something else. It can only be described as a dragon. It’s reptilian, capable of flight, and can emit fire,” Micheal explained. 

“That explains the shields,” Saru spoke as if he had just realized something. 

Michael nodded. “I saw them too. That’s why I came.” 

“What shields,” Pike asked warily. “You might have mentioned that there was shield technology.” 

“My apologies sir. I was unsure if I was reading the scan correctly. At night there seems to be a shield active, protecting the largest city,” Saru explained. “A shield that those people are not capable of building.” 

“But Barret is,” the Captain said. It was all making sense to him now. “The man was an engineer. He probably thinks he’s protecting those people, helpling them. That doesn’t earn him the right to be their god.” 

Captain Pike would wait until afternoon to see if the away team could make their capture. If not, he would go back down there himself and see this through.


	16. Chapter 16

Tilly was finally back to work at her normal post in engineering and just trying to keep busy and do her job when her commanding officer joined her at her console. Stamets didn’t say anything, he just watched her for a moment. 

“Um...did I… did I do something wrong, sir?” she asked, suddenly uncomfortable at the way he was watching her. 

“No, you didn’t. I’m just trying to figure out if you’re okay.” He asked, sounding genuinely concerned. 

“W- why wouldn’t I be okay? I mean- I’m good. I think- I’m mostly good,” Tilly stammered, not sounding convincing at all. 

“I don’t know if you’re aware, there have been a lot of very strange rumors going around this ship the past few days. It’s not always easy to tell what’s true and what isn’t without just asking the people involved so, are you okay, Ensign?” 

Tilly set her work aside and turned to face him. “Why? What are people saying about me?” 

“Well for one, that there’s something going on between you and the Captain,” he explained. “I’m not inclined to believe much of what Ensign Molina or Cadet Decker spread around but if it is true and you’re good with that then I’ll mind my own business. But if it’s something else going on and you feel pressured to be involved because he’s the Captain and you need help getting out of that…” he trailed off. 

Tilly felt her eyes well up with tears at the notion that her commanding officer would look out for her like that. He saw her tears and misunderstood them. 

“So it is true?” he said, slight anger in his features. 

“No, no, it’s not like that. Captain Pike would never….” 

“Then why are you crying?” he asked, uncomfortable. 

“It’s just really sweet of you to look out for me like that,” she said. “But no, it’s not like that. Really. Everything is very...mutual.” 

“And your health is okay?” He asked, still concerned. “Look, I know it’s none of my business and if you don’t want to answer then that’s fine but Tilly, some of the stuff I’ve been hearing has me worried.” 

“What exactly have you heard?” she asked, starting to be weirded out by this whole thing. 

“That you’ve been staying nights with the Captain. That something happened on Faldar to possess you both. That you’re pregnant.” He said sadly. “And that’s the kinder version.” 

“Well, it’s mostly true,” Tilly said with a nod. She could just imagine the unkind version of all that. “Except that we didn’t exactly get possessed on Faldar we just picked up the alien there, the possession bit happened later and that was only temporary. At least we think it was only temporary. And I haven’t exactly made an announcement about the pregnancy part yet so..” 

“Oh,” Paul Stamets was a little uncomfortable at learning all this. “Understood. Well, is there anything I can do to help?” 

“Um no, I don’t think so, thanks….except...do you have any more of those muffins that you had on your desk this morning? Because lately I have been so hungry and those smelled amazing.” 

Stamets smiled a little. “Yeah, there’s two left. Feel free,” he told her as he stepped away to return to work. 

Tilly was almost finished with the second muffin when the announcement came. “Ensign Silvia Tilly please report to the Captain’s ready room.” 

“Looks like I gotta go,” she told Stamets with a mouthful of food. 

Tilly arrived in the ready room to find that the Captain was already there as were Gotthelf, Nhan, and Gavin. 

“Where’s Ensign Rause?” she asked, not even waiting until she was seated or until the meeting was actually begun. If the away team had returned without her, then something bad had happened. 

“That’s what we’re here about,” The Captain said. “Have a seat.” 

Tilly took a seat as ordered and waited for someone to begin. 

“Go ahead Nhan,” the captain said. 

“An hour ago we were able to get close enough to Barret to capture him. We did so using local weapons only, swords and spears.” Nhan explained. “There was some chaos to that fight and when it was over with we had subdued Barret but Heidi was captured and dragged away.” 

“Oh god,” Tilly put her hand over her mouth.

“We thought that once we got on board she could be beamed up too, maybe at night while the city was asleep,” Nhan explained. “But once we got on board, we couldn’t find her life sign.” 

“No…” Tilly shook her head. “She can’t be gone.” 

“She’s not,” Gavin spoke up. “When we grabbed Barret he said something about us never being able to find her if we didn’t let him go.” 

“He’s probably found a means of obscuring her from the ship’s scans,” Pike said. “Which is why we’re headed to the brig to talk to him. I want three of you to get some rest. Ensign Tilly will come with me along with commander Spock to learn what we can about how he might be hiding Rause from us.” 

The three tired members of the away team exited the room as Tilly and the Captain got to their feet. “Maybe she can get herself out of this,” Tilly said, trying to convince herself of it. 

“Maybe she can,” Chris agreed. “I know she wanted her abilities kept secret but Spock needs to know and he probably will know since he has some telepathy of his own anyway.” 

Tilly nodded. Whatever it took to save Hedi. She didn’t know the woman very well but she had liked her. Spock arrived moments later. 

“You sent for me Captain?” 

“Yes, we’re going down to the brig to speak with Commander Barret but before we do, we need to update you on how our mission went.” 

Tilly didn’t really listen while the captain explained everything. All she could think about was what Heidi had said about the way she appreciated her curiosity and optimism. She wasn’t really feeling all that optimistic at the moment.


	17. Chapter 17

Captain Pike approached the brig cell with Spock at his side. Tilly held back and remained a few feet t behind them, watching the proceedings with arms crossed. He couldn’t tell by looking at her if she were angry or or worried but he could feel that she was definitely experiencing both anger and anxiousness. 

“You know why we’re here?” Pike said to Barret. The commander sat on the floor of his cell as if he were on a picnic without a care in the world. 

“I imagine you want me to tell you where your officer is,” he said. “I can’t do that. Not for nothing.” 

“There’s not going to be any negotiation here,” Pike explained to him. “There is no scenario where we let you go in exchange for her. We’ll find her eventually but if we find her harmed, or worse, no longer alive, your court martial is going to be a lot worse. So do you want me to put in my report that you cooperated or that you resisted our efforts to find Ensign Rause?” 

He spoke the words firmly, and he meant them, but in truth, he would consider negotiation of some sort if Heidi’s life were in danger. He’d find a way to recover her and recapture Barret if he had to. In the meantime, he had to try other ways. 

Barret chuckled, a look of utter disdain on his face. “There is no justice in Starfleet.” He laughed bitterly. “It won’t matter what you tell them in my hearing. I’m going to prison for the rest of my life because of what I know and after I go to that prison you’ll probably hear some rumor that I killed myself. When that happens, don’t believe it. Believe that Starfleet is just trying to tidy up the mess they made.” 

“Whatever it is you think you know, isn’t really relevant here,” Pike told him. “The only thing relevant to me is that you have interfered in a pre-warp culture and you have convinced those people to abduct one of my officers. Where is she?” 

Barret shook his head. “She’s not hurt. Not yet. The people down there are actually very kind, very compassionate. Even if I told them to hurt her, they would hesitate to obey it. They’re good people.” 

“What do you mean by not yet? And where have your kind people taken her?” Pike asked, keeping to the point. 

“Right now she’s in townhouse somewhere. There are half a million people in the city. You won’t find the house. The bracelet she wears will make it impossible for you to find her by scans. I need you to allow me to go down to the planet and do one last task. Allow that and your officer will go free.” 

“We’ll find her eventually. She is very resourceful and will find a way to make herself known to us,” Pike said, confident that with her abilities Heidi could probably escape and manage to contact them given enough time. 

“You don’t have until eventually,” Barret told him. 

“Is that a threat?” 

“It is an inevitable outcome. It is what the people call the season of Magnus down there. The Magnus a species of reptile that sleeps in fifty year cycles and then awakens to hunt by night for a season of three months. Unless I go down there, most of the city will be destroyed and I have instructed the people to offer Ensign Rause as a sacrifice if I do not return before nightfall. They will do anything to appease the god who saved them.”

“How dare you call yourself a god?” Pike bit back his anger. “Having shield technology doesn’t give you the right to make yourself a deity.” 

“And wearing that uniform doesn’t give you the right to decide they are too primitive to be worthy of saving!” he spat the words at him. “Eight months ago my crew became aware of what was about to happen down there! We were doing a survey in orbit and our discovered that the planet had some rare minerals. Despite it being a pre-warp society our Captain sent us down there to gather minerals. 

We met the people and found them to be intelligent and kind, especially a woman called Vala.” Barret stopped speaking, as if trying to get a hold on his emotions. “It took us six weeks to get the minerals that the Captain wanted. 

We sheltered with Vala’s family for most of that time. We learned about their legend of the Magnus and their fear of its return. Then Vala fell ill and our Captain refused to allow us to do anything to help her. I was forced to watch as a woman I loved died in agony of a disease that we could have easily cured. Then we returned to the ship and the Captain sold the minerals a great personal profit to himself. He offered us a large share in what he had sold. The others took it and kept quiet. 

I was too furious to keep quiet. I tried to contact Starfleet and tell them what our Captain had done. They never got the message. He intercepted it. So I took my time and set to work building a shield. I put it on a shuttle some weeks ago and returned here. I was going to install it discreetly over the city to come on automatically when needed. When I reached the planet my own Captain shot me down. He tried to kill me and caused my shuttle to crash out in the open for all to see. 

There was nothing left to do but install the shield openly, as their savior. They had already seen me come from the heavens. And now they love me, more than my family, more than Starfleet ever did. They will do as I asked and sacrifice your Ensign to ensure my return.” 

Pike shook his head. “We’ll find her before it comes to that.” He nodded to Tilly and Spock and they followed him out of the brig. 

“What did you make of all that?” Pike asked them. 

“He is a very angry man,” Tilly said. “Sory I have no more insight than that.” 

“Spock?” Pike asked him. 

“I believe I have learned the location of Ensign Rause from his thoughts. If we move with sufficient haste, we will be able to retrieve her before sunset.” Spock told them. 

“Sufficient haste it is,” Pike nodded. “You and Burnham had better get going. You know the location and she knows the dragon, or better than the rest of us.” 

“Understood sir,” Spock took his leave of them. 

“I guess we had best get back to work,” he told Tilly. 

She nodded her agreement. 

“If everything goes well tonight and we get Rause back and get back on course, we should have dinner?” 

“First you give me a drawer and then you invite me to dinner? Isn’t that backwards?” 

“You were the one who said I don’t fit into patterns.” 

“I suppose I did,” Tilly stepped away to take a different hallway. “Maybe I’ll see you tonight.” 

He watched her go and then continued on towards the bridge, still contemplating what he was going to do about the threat to the people on that planet below.


	18. Chapter 18

Heidi Rause sat in a city cottage kitchen with her hands tied behind her back. The kitchen had only one window and out it she could see stone cottages and muddy streets. Her captors were in the next room, five of them with swords and armor. She was aware that they didn’t want to hurt her but were too afraid of the creature outside the city and the threat that Barret had left them with. They were going to sacrifice her and Barret had promised them he would return if they did so. In their mind, sacrifice meant taking her to the city gates, hanging her upside down, and cutting her throat. Despite her awareness of their plans, she willed herself to remain calm. 

Heidi struggled with the ties at her wrists. If she could free her hands, the window wasn’t so far from the ground. She could make the jump and perhaps crawl into that hay cart further down the street until they either stopped looking for her or the owner moved the cart or the cover of darkness allowed her to move and hide somewhere else. The ties were tight though and she could not free herself no matter how much effort she put into it. 

She fell still for a moment while she contemplated her options. If she couldn’t free herself from the ropes then she would have to use something she learned from her guards. If she really wanted to, she could very likely convince them that she too was a god like Barret. Telepathy would probably frighten these people into doing anything she asked. That would be wrong though. It had been wrong to reveal her gifts to Starfleet when her people objected but that at least hadn’t hurt anyone. At least not yet. Allowing these people to believe she were a god, even to save her own life was probably worse. Except she didn’t want to die. Not like that. 

Maybe she could appeal to their emotional state. 

Eventually one of the guards entered the room and untied one of her arms. The one without a bracelet. Another guard offered her a chunk of bread. She ate a few bites. 

“Are you afraid the Magnus will come tonight?” she asked them. 

“Only a fool does not fear the magnus,” the large man said. She could feel his fear and his wariness of her. He was afraid of her. 

“You’re not a fool. You are not a cruel man either. Do you have a family?” she asked, knowing that he had a wife and three children. 

“You are from the race of gods. You should already know these things.” 

“I’m not. I’m just from a place very far away. There are plenty of things I don’t know. Tell me about your family?” 

“I have a wife, Tanna, and three children. The youngest is my first son,” he said, sounding proud of it. 

“That is why you will sacrifice me? To save them?” she asked him. “I don’t blame you. But you should know that I’m not a god. If you cut me I will bleed. If you kill me. I will die and there will be no resurrection. And you should know that I have a father too. A father who will mourn the loss of his daughter just like you would one of yours.” 

The guard looked distrubed by her words. “Stop talking.” 

“I’m speaking the truth and you know it. You don’t even want to kill me.” 

“Even if you speak the truth, you are but one life. Without our lord Barret, we are all doomed. Your life is the price for his benevolence.” 

Heidi shook her head. “There is no benevolence in trading one life for another or even one life for many. Only a cruel god would ask that of you. Only a cruel god would ask you to murder someone and live with memory of their blood and their screams and expect you could be happy with that.” 

“I will not be happy with that,” the man said sadly. “But my family will live and that’s what matters.” 

“Let me go and I can help your family,” she told him, knowing it was the only way. 

“How? You said yourself you are not a god.” 

“Barret made a machine to protect the city. If we find it, I can start the machine.” 

The guard looked skeptical. “Is it in the sacred box in his temple?” 

“Probably. That’s probably exactly where it is,” the description sounded right, given the circumstances. 

“No one can touch the sacred box without his hand. It will open for no one but him.” 

Great. It was probably fingerprint activated. “Let me try. Please?” she asked him. “You can always still sacrifice me at sundown if I fail but at least allow me to try?” 

The guard grunted and stepped out of the room. Heidi heard him arguing briefly with the other guards. He returned moments later. “We will take you to the sacred box. Do not try to escape.” 

“I won’t,” she agreed. She wouldn’t try until sunset anyway. 

***

Spock and Michael materialized in the shadow of the great forest just outside the city walls. They wore clothes more befitting the local culture than a Starfleet uniform and Spock had a hooded cloak to disguise his ears. 

“This way,” Spock said, having a pretty good bearing on where Ensign Rause was being held prisoner. 

They weaved amongst the people on the city streets unnoticed and went down several streets and through marketplaces. 

“Are yout sure we’re headed the right way, Spock?” Michael asked him. 

“It’s there,” he pointed to a house ahead. 

They entered the house discreetly and found only one man inside. He wore armor and immediately pulled his sword. 

“Take it easy,” Michael said, hands raised. “We’re just looking for our friend. Her name is Heidi. She’s not from the city. Have you seen her?” 

“She has been taken to the temple of Barret,” the man told them, relaxing his grip on his sword. 

“As a sacrifice?” Michael asked with concern. 

“Not yet. She wished to try and help save the city by opening our lord’s sacred box. We have given her until sunset to do so.” 

Spock glanced out the window at the suns sinking low in the sky. “We don’t have much time. The suns will set in a matter of minutes. We must hurry.” he told Michael. “Will you take us there?” 

The guard nodded his agreement and led them out the door. They ran the entire distance across the city to the temple.


	19. Chapter 19

Heidi was no engineer or security expert. She had taken some basics in engineering and security at the Academy. They all had. Her expertise though was medicine. She didn’t know how to open the sacred box. The box itself was just a cargo container. It had a place for a keycode and a fingerprint scan and it was large enough that he probably could have fit a shield generator and some sort of battery operated power source inside. That knowledge did nothing to help her get it open. She tried entering numbers into the keypad anyhow just to make the guards believe she was working on it. In reality she knew she could never open it. She was just looking for a chance to escape. 

The light from the temple windows began to grow dim. A priest began lighting candles. The guards shifted uncomfortably. Ladon, the man she had convinced to bring her here stepped forward. 

“We are out of time,” he told her sadly. “I will make it as quick and painless as possible.” 

Heidi let out an involuntary sob when Ladon took her arm and led her out of the temple. They were going to the gates where they would string her up. It was a long walk through the crowded city, The crowds parted to allow the temple guards to pass through. Heidi was trying to prepare herself to meet death when she saw two familiar faces in the crowd, Spock and Burnham. 

They reached the gate and Ladon tied a rope around her feet. “I’m sorry,” he told her as he tightened the knots. 

She no longer saw Spock and Michael anywhere. Had she only imagined them? Maybe this truly was the end. She was honestly terrified and yet her terror was overpowered by the feelings coming off of Landon in waves. She had never felt such a heavy burden of guilt from anyone in all her life. Killing her was the last thing he wanted. He hated himself for what he was doing and was already thinking about what he would do once the city was safe again. When the magnus was gone back to sleep and his family was safe he would climb to the top of the temple tower and jump to his death. He didn’t want to live with having murdered this poor innocent traveler. No father should have his daughter taken from him. He did not deserve a life after this and he had already decided that he wouldn’t live one. 

“Don’t,” she sobbed the word as he tied the last of the knots at her feet. 

“I told you, I have no choice,” he said, broken. 

Heidi reached down and lifted his chin so he would look at her. “Don’t jump from the tower,” she told him firmly. “I know you want to but don’t. Your family will need you for a long while yet.” 

Landon stared at her for a moment and then he took the dagger he carried and he tossed it aside, got to his feet, and took a step back. “I can not do this,” he told the others. 

Another of the guards stepped up. “I can,” he said and he grabbed the rope. 

Heidi was hauled off of her feet by the pull of the rope. Her body thudded against the ground and her legs were lifted above her head. In moments, she was hanging in midair, swinging with her head five feet from the ground. The guard tied the rope in place to a nearby cart so that Heidi would not fall back to the ground. He bent down to pick up the dagger that Landon had dropped and approached her, pricking the blade to her neck. 

She couldn’t quite see where Commander Spock had come from. He was just there, behind the guard holding a dagger and he somehow rendered the man unconscious with one touch. Heidi was left hanging upside down while he turned away and fought off two more guards with the help of Michael Burnham. Ladon did not join in the fight. 

When the fight had ended, all of the guards had either retreated or been knocked out, Michael Burnham came to cut Heidi down. As the rope let go, Commander Spock helped to lower her to the ground. She wasn’t fully aware at first of the fact that she was clinging to Spock and weeping. Half a minute passed before she realized that she needed to let him go. He was sitting on the ground on his knees and here she was sobbing openly in front of a Vulcan who happened to be her commanding officer too. He probably disliked all this display of emotion a great deal. Except, he was actually hugging her in return. She realized that he actually did feel a measure of compassion for what she had just experienced and that he believed offering her comfort when she sought it was more logical than pushing away a member of his crew. Doing so would only lead to dislike and mistrust. He hugged her because she seemed to want him to. 

Heidi sighed and got hold of herself to push herself away. Spock helped her to her feet.

“We should head to the forest. We can transport back from there,” Michael said. 

Heidi moved to follow them and then stopped short, catching sight of Ladon ducked down behind the cart that her rope had been tied to. 

“Wait, can’t we stay and help these people?” she asked the two of them. “If we could open the sacred box, we could keep out the Magnus.” 

“We can not interfere here,” Spock said. 

“The interference already happened. These people already know that there’s a way to keep out the magnus. Leaving them now would just be cruel,” Heidi argued, more emotional than she had intended. 

Spock thought about her words for a moment, “It may seem so, but cruelty is not the intention.” he said evenly. 

Despite his even tone, Heidi knew that he felt greatly conflicted about leaving so many people to face their fate when they had the technology to save them. Burnham was equally conflicted. 

“They weren’t trying to be cruel when they strung me up as a sacrifice either but you still cut me down,” she said, almost angry with him. 

“Your anger is misplaced, Ensign,” he said. 

“I’m not angry with you, sir,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears. “I’m angry that there is no hope.” 

“There is always hope,” Michael spoke up. “Always. I have an idea. What if we go face the Magnus ourselves? 

“You can not face it alone!” Ladon said. “For generations our people have tried. It can not be done.” 

Spock met Michael’s gaze and he nodded. He would rather face the dragon without witnesses than to give the people technology outside of their time. Michael had offered a viable alternative. 

Heidi turned to Ladon. “Find a safe place to hide your family and we do what we can for your city,” 

He nodded, worry in his eyes as he began to back off. 

“And Ladon, thank you. Your hesitation, your compassion, maybe have saved my life. We’ll do what we can for yours.” Heidi told him. 

She followed her Starfleet crew members out of the city gates and into the giant forest.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can see by my statistics that my readers have started leaving this story. I am finding that Star Trek is the most difficult fandom to write for. I still have ideas for this story moving forward and it probably doesn’t fit in with accepted canon in some places and probably isn’t going to be of interest to everyone. Hopefully it doesn’t alienate all my readers. 
> 
> Alienate. Get it?

By the time her shift ended Tilly hadn’t heard any word on the status of the away team. She was hungry and thinking about eating fish but ignored it because she had things to do. She went back to her room which was finally clean of graffiti and smelling normal again and she took out some of her assigned reading for the command training program. She had been at it for nearly an hour when she felt something, a flutter of movement in her belly and she dropped her tablet onto the bed. 

“Was that…?” She got to her feet and put her hands on her belly. Sure enough there was movement. “Hello there.” She said, overcome with emotion. This was suddenly very real. There wasn’t just a baby coming later, there was a baby here with her now, moving. 

Tilly paced the room a few times and she brushed away her tears of worry. What if she had been eating the wrong things? What if the Faldarians had different health needs than humans did? What if she should be sleeping more? Or less? Unable to shake these thoughts she left her room and headed for sick bay. 

As soon as she arrived it became obvious that Dr Culber was very busy. He had three occupied beds and was carrying a stack of medifilm and barely even saw her enter. 

“Tilly? Is everything okay?” He said as went past her a second time to gather more items from a drawer. 

“Um… I’m good for now I think. You look very busy.” 

“I am. Usually I have Ensign Rause here to help me but she’s still offworld.” He explained, still in a rush. 

“Can I help with anything?” Tilly asked. 

“Well, I need to do a medical history on Saunders over there,” he indicated one of the beds then picked up a tablet and passed it to her. “Just ask him the questions and fill the answers into the form.” 

Tilly set to work helping Dr Culber however she could. She did a medical history form. She organized the hypospray cabinet. She changed the coverings on all the medical tables after the patients left. After an hour, the busyness of sick bay quieted down and she finally had a moment to ask him the thing that had been on her mind. 

“So I was wondering… because today I felt the baby move and it all suddenly got really real… anyways...do you think the Faldarians have different health needs? Do you think I should eat more fish?” 

Hugh turned away from his computer console to face her. “Michael brought a blood sample with her from one of the Faldarians. I got a chance to look at it this morning. Have you been craving fish?” 

“God yes! Not just replicator fish but real fish. I had one once when I was fifteen and they didn’t tell me what it was until after I already ate it. Now I just want another one and what if this baby actually needs it? I mean I know the replicator can make the same thing but…” 

“That makes sense. There was evidence from the blood sample that they do eat a lot of fish on Faldar. If you’re craving fish then that’s probably what you should eat and it certainly won’t hurt especially if you get them from the replicator.” 

“Okay, she said, “somewhat reassured to have more information. “Thank you.” 

“No problem. Come back and be my assistant any time.” 

“I’m sure Heidi does a better job at this sort of thing. I got a little cringed when you were treating the burns.” 

“Heidi is great with burns and blood and whatever else I need her to do. I hope they find her down there.” 

“Me too,” Tilly said as she made her way out of sick bay with an awkward wave goodbye. 

***

“What is your plan Michael?” Spock asked her as soon as they got under the cover of the trees. 

“I don’t know yet,” Michael said. “I do know that there is a cavern two miles west of here where I think the magnus lives. At least the scans from the ship seemed to indicate it does.” 

“If you don’t actually have a plan then there is no point in staying here further,” Spock took out his communicator from his robes. 

“We can’t leave yet!” Heidi said emphatically. She was several paces behind them but still listening to the conversation. “Half those people will die if we go.” 

“You know as well as I that any interference will violate the prime directive,” he reminded her. “I regret that I agreed to seek out this creature because doing so would still consist of interference.” 

Heidi bit her lip, to try and hold back the tears and emotions that had been building for hours, from the moment she had arrived on this planet. She had just very nearly died and at the last moment her life had been spared and now all the people in the city behind her were facing their own demise. She could feel their terror and their resolve at what they were facing and though she tried to keep their emotions out, the terror of half a million people was too much for her. 

“I can’t do this,” Heidi sobbed as she collapsed to her knees. 

Michael looked confused but concerned. Spock went to her and knelt down, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“I too am aware of the terror felt by the entire city,” he told her. 

“So you know about what I can do?” 

“Indeed.” 

“How do you shut it out? All the fear and the terror? How do you bear it? Is logic really that powerful?” 

“Logic is the beginning of wisdom, it is not the end of it.” Spock told her. “It is only powerful because it allows us to solve our problems rather than be crippled by emotions.” 

He had a point, she had just now fallen to the ground in a mess of emotions. How very Betazoid of her. Something needed to be done and she had succeeded in doing nothing but sitting here chatting on the ground while danger came closer and closer. And yet she couldn’t make herself stop crying. 

“Ensign, allow me to assist you?” He asked. 

She nodded her agreement and he reached out and put a hand on her face, his fingers on her forehead and chin. Peace and calm began to come over her and as she slowed her breathing, he removed his hand, choosing not to bond with her for too long or too fully. He only meant to calm her and he had accomplished that. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. 

“Are we going to the cavern Spock,” Michael asked, “because we need to get moving.” 

“And once we get to this cavern, then what?” He asked her as both he and Heidi got to their feet. 

“I was thinking, maybe we could talk to it,” Michael said. 

Spock raised eyebrow. “And you believe that will help?” 

“Well you never know. Maybe it is sentient. Maybe it’s territorial and that city is in the wrong spot. We know if we don’t try,” Michael said. 

Spock nodded. “We should update the crew first.” 

“The Captain will want to beam us aboard,” Michael reminded him. 

Heidi held up the bracelet she still wore. “We could extend the range, then he can’t beam us up.” 

“It might be unwise to-“ Spock began but Michael stepped forward and took the bracelet from Heidi. 

“I’ll do it,” she said. “We just need a little time,” she told Spock. 

“And the both of you are determined to see this through?” 

They nodded that they were. 

“Then I will assist you for the time being,” he said reluctantly.


	21. Chapter 21

The walk to the caverns was only a few miles but it seemed further due to the rough terrain. It was a dark heavily wooded area, and there were exposed roots and brush to make their way over. They hadn’t gone quite a mile before Heidi tripped on a root in the darkness and somehow managed to skin her knee and twist her ankle in the fall. 

Michael came back to help her up when she heard Heidi’s cry of pain. She took the offered aid and found that she could not bear weight on her left ankle. 

“Shit,” Heidi mumbled, as she shifted her weight to her right foot. “I can’t walk on it,” she said, pain in her tone. 

“Perhaps we should return you to the ship for medical assistance,” Spock suggested. 

“Spock, I might need her,” Michael said. 

“For what purpose? She carries no weapons and even if she did, we can not know if our phasers will be effective. Medical treatment would be the best course of action at this point,” he stated. 

Due to the pain in her ankle Heidi was unable to make much effort to filter out the thoughts of her companions. In that moment she realized two things. Spock was only going along with this because he trusted in Michael’s engenuity. He disliked interference as much as he disliked leaving these people to their fate. He was struggling with deciding what the logical and morally right choice truly was. Secondly, he wanted to send her back out of true concern for her well being. Spock liked her. He was in fact attracted to her and thought that her natural long blonde hair was probably the most beautiful hair he had ever seen. He wanted her to go back for her own safety. 

“If you can’t continue,” Michael told her, “We’ll have you beamed up. But if we can make you a crutch and we can keep going, you might be able to help me communicate with the magnus.” 

“I’ll try,” Heidi agreed. She would do what she could to see this through. 

“A crutch will be a slower means of travel,” Spock pointed out. “We do not have the luxury of time.” 

“Then carry her.” Michael told him as if he were not the commanding officer. “You’re a lot stronger than we are. It shouldn’t slow you down much.” 

“If that is agreeable to Ensign Rause?” He said. 

“That will work,” she said. 

Moments later Spock picked her up and they set off in the direction they had been going before. Though it should have been awkward, it was actually a relief being carried by him. Heidi wasn’t built for away missions. She came to Starfleet as a nurse because she wanted to help people but she wanted to help them on the ship where it was relatively safe. These last few days had been an adventure she hadn’t asked for. The adventure was almost over now. She was actually rather terrified of this plan of Michael’s. The idea of trying to communicate with a dragon was not how she wanted this night to go. It was the right thing to do though and certainly better than doing nothing. It also really helped to know that Spock would do what he could to see to it that she survived the attempt. In fact, she was aware that he was looking out for her not just out of compassion or because of his responsibility as senior officer but because of his attraction to her which was very powerful and growing in intensity as he carried her. Heidi couldn’t say that she minded. It was a mutual attraction. 

Spock allowed Michael to put some distance between them and clear a bit of the underbrush out of the way as she walked. It made traversing the path while carrying Heidi just a little bit simpler. Even with Michael’s efforts, Spock still stumbled in one place as they walked. He stumbled enough that he let go of Heidi’s legs as he fell forward and the momentum brought them to the ground. He caught himself with that free hand just in time to not crush her but was still effectively lying on top of her. 

“My apologies,” Spock said as he got to his feet and helped her up. He did nothing to acknowledge the intensity of emotion that he had felt in that moment or that she had felt. He had to have been aware of it. He picked her up and continued walking behind Michael. 

As they got closer to the caverns, Heidi found it more difficult to contain her fear. Spock responded to that by pulling her a little closer as he carried her. It was a gesture she knew was meant to comfort her. “Thank you,” she whispered, in thanks to his gesture. 

“You are most welcome,” he told her without inflection. 

Michael turned back for a moment and gave the two of them a curious look, then continued on. 

They reached the entrance to the cavern and slowed their pace. 

“It’s here,” Heidi said, able to feel the presence of some other living thing not so far away. “And it’s hungry and angry.” 

“What if we could offer it food?” Michael said, moving closer and ducking down behind a rock pile to get a closer look. “I can see it. It’s massive and maybe still asleep. If we could get close enough-” 

“We can’t get close enough to kill it,” Heidi said. “Ladon said that their people have tried in the past to kill it while it sleeps but they wake up if they smell you and also they have hidden their eggs somewhere and more will hatch in fifty or so years.” 

“My scans showed that there were thirty or so reptiles in this cavern and there’s another cavern in the southern hemisphere with twice as many. The people here must have had some success in killing them for there to be so few,” Michael explained. 

“Or perhaps they simply can not get enough food to survive in large numbers,” Spock suggested. He was knelt down near Burnham in the shadow of the rock and Heidi now sat next to him on the ground. 

“That seems likely,” Michael agreed. “We should have some food to offer.” 

Spock took out his communicator. “Spock to Discovery. We have recovered Ensign Rause and need to make a request that is highly unusual. Beam down one ton of replicated beef to our location.” 

“Spock, did you just ask for a ton of beef?” Captain Pike’s voice came over the communicator. 

“Indeed sir, there are no native people in proximity to us. Beaming down the replicated meat may help us to resolve the danger here,” Spock explained. They had not yet obscured their location with Heidi’s bracelet so the request should be a simple one. 

“Understood,” Pike said. “Your burgers will be there as soon as we can replicate them.” 

“Burgers?” Spike asked, Michael rather than the communicator. 

“It’s a human meal made of beef. So I guess now we wait.” She said, setting down behind the rock. 

Spock settled down behind the rock as well with Burnham to one side and Rause to the other. Though she hadn’t been walking on it, Heidi’s ankle was giving her a great deal of pain. She was almost sure that it was broken. If things went badly in this cavern she wouldn’t be able to run and escape. She would be dependent on Spock to carry her out since Michael likely wasn’t strong enough to do so. 

In the darkness he learned a little closer to her and Heidi took the liberty of resting her head on his shoulder. 

_I will carry you out if necessary._ He spoke to her mind and not aloud. _I will have us all beamed aboard before any harm can befall you._

 _Why would you do that?_ She asked. Her tone in his mind was a flirtatious one. _Is it because you like me?_

_Whether I like or dislike you is not relevant. Helping my fellow officers to escape danger is the right course of action._

_But you do like me. I can feel the attraction and I’m sure you’re aware that I share it._ She told him. 

_Indeed._ He did not deny it nor did he pursue the telepathic conversation any further. 

A noise filled the cavern as the transporter beam sent down the synthetic meat that Spock had requested. Several of the nearby reptiles awoke at the sound and smell. They approached and began to consume the raw meat. 

“They’re feeling better,” Heidi whispered. “Without the hunger there is less anger.” 

“So maybe we can talk to it now,” Michael started to get to her feet but Spock caught her arm and pulled her back down. 

“It would be unwise to speak to such a primitive creature,” he told her. 

“But that’s what we came her for,” Michael argued. 

“Now that I am in their presence, I see that this creature can not be reasoned with. It has only basic biological needs and emotions. We can not convince it of anything,” Spock explained. 

“I agree,” Heidi said. “Those things only think about eating and sleeping and protecting its nest. It will kill us if we approach.” Heidi agreed. 

“Then there’s only one thing we can do. Feed them and hope that in fifty years the people here will come up with their own solution.” Micheal said. 

“Your solution is agreeable,” Spock said. “We will return to the ship and beam down food for the magnus to keep them from hunting in the city.” 

“What about the sacred box?” Heidi asked. “It’s in the temple. I think it has shields inside.” 

“We will beam it aboard,” Spock said, getting to his feet and assisting Heidi up. He took out his communicator to contact Discovery. 

Once the three of them had materialized on Discovery Spock carried Heidi the rest of the distance from the transporter room to sick bay. He didn’t have to carry her there himself but he did so because he wanted to.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter because I am at work today but wanted to still give an update.

Captain Pike went straight to the transporter room to check on the status of his returning crew and found only Michael Burnham was still there. 

“I knew you’d be on your way sir, so I waited,” she told him. 

“Where’s Spock and Rause?” He asked. 

“They went straight to sick bay, I assume. Heidi injured her ankle down there,” Michael explained. “Spock carried her to sick bay.” 

“Spock didn’t wait for a medical team to take her?” He asked. Spock generally followed protocol and an ankle injury was something that didn’t urgently need sick bay for her to survive. He could have waited. 

“He didn’t wait. He carried her for a while down on the planet too. If I didn’t know better… I think he likes her.” 

“That’s an interesting development,” Pike said, unsure if he believed it just yet. Spock was certainly not one for sentimental attachments. “What happened down there?” 

Michael filled him in on the events of the mission as the two of them walked to sick bay. The two of them walked into sick bay to find Spock was seated in a chair at Heidi’s bedside while Dr Culber repaired her ankle. 

“How are you feeling Ensign?” Pike asked her, keeping a cautious distance given what had happened the last time he saw her. 

“Glad to be back on Discovery, Sir,” she told him. “I’m not eager to go on any away missions any time soon.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind and give you a pass next time,” he said good naturedly. 

“Thank you sir,” she said with relief. 

“I came because to let you know that our mission report is going to detail the things that you overheard down there. We will make sure that we use the word overheard,” he explained, letting her know that they would not reveal her telepathic abilities to Starfleet. 

“But what about the incident that happened? How will you explain it?” She asked with concern. 

“I’m gonna blame it on Spock. Everything in my report will be very factual except that it will say Heidi overheard the information that she discovered for us. As for the incident with the phaser, It was Spock’s telepathy that set it off,” Pike said. “If Spock will allow me to do so anyway?” 

“I am not entirely comfortable with such dishonesty,” Spock said and then glanced at Heidi and the worry in her eyes. “But in this instance I will permit it.” 

“Good,” Pike said and wondered if maybe Burnham might have been right. Maybe Spock did like Heidi. “I will see you on the Bridge in the morning.” 

He left the three of them in sick bay and set out to find Tilly. It looked like they would be having dinner after all. 

***

Michael didn’t stay in sick bay for long. She stayed only briefly to see that Heidi was well and then she left Spock and Heidi alone. Dr Culber had wandered off to help another patient and the two of them were left alone. 

“I would exit now and leave you to your rest,” Spock began, “But I am aware that you do not wish for me to go.” 

“I don’t,” Heidi admitted, overcome with emotion. Sharing thoughts and feelings with him telepathically has been a welcome relief. She hadn’t been home to Betazed in nearly five years and her people often communicated without the use of words. The loneliness of having only her own thoughts had been suffocating at times. 

“If you wish to speak with me telepathically at any time, you may do so. I do not require that we be in the same room,” he told her. 

Heidi almost started to cry at that news but she bit back her tears. 

“It is curious to me how often you attempt to control your emotional response.” He told her. “You did so multiple times down on the planet and again just now. Your control is very limited and yet you attempt it all the same: I highly doubt that this fits in with the tradition of your people.”

“It doesn’t,” she told him, “But I don’t have much choice. As a Betazed, I experience the emotions of most of the people around me and they are completely unaware that I know what they are thinking and feeling. I can’t talk to them about it. I can’t react to their grief or anger or joy. I’ve spent the last five years trying to learn how to not feel what they feel.” 

“I could assist you with that endeavor,” Spock offered. 

“And I could assist you with admitting that you do feel,” she told him. 

“I do not deny that I feel. I only deny that an emotional response is the correct response,” Spock explained. 

“Except sometimes it is the correct response. For instance when an Ensign with a broken ankle is terrified of facing a dragon, is offering her comfort not an emotional response?” 

“If I were to deny it you would argue that you felt an emotional reaction from me,” Spock said. 

“I did, didn’t I?” She asked, curious. 

“You did indeed. However I did make a choice to offer you what comfort I could, the difference being that in this instance what was the logical choice, was also an emotional one. The fact that the two occurred together was only coincidental.” 

Heidi smiled a little at his words. “I knew you liked me.” 

“It is true that I find your company pleasant.” 

“So you’ll stay a while?” She asked him. 

“I will indeed.”


	23. Chapter 23

“Help me pick something, Michael!” Tilly stood at her opened closer door looking anxious. “I have to wear real clothes for dinner. Not that I would ever go to dinner without clothes. Except there was that one time I had a nightmare that I went to ten forward without clothes and I’ve worried ever since that it might happen someday. But that would never happen. That would be ridiculous. I just meant that I can’t wear a uniform. I have to wear something nice. Help me pick? Please?” 

Michael joined Tilly at her closet door and looked over the clothes that hung there momentarily. “I’m probably not the best judge of fashion. What’s the occasion?” 

“Dinner with the Captain!” she said, full of excitement. “Except, I need to calm down and take this more seriously.” Tilly bit her lip as if trying to bite back her enthusiasm. 

Michael reached into the closet and pulled out a black dress. “Wear this. And stop trying to be serious. It doesn’t suit you.” 

Tilly took the dress and allowed herself to smile. “But what about shoes?” she said, suddenly worried. 

“The shoes don’t matter. He’s not going to be looking at your feet,” Michael said, dropping down onto her bed with exhaustion. 

“You’re right,” Tilly said, with a giggle. “But you seem tired. How did it go? Is Heidi okay?” 

“She’s okay. I think she broke an ankle but she’ll be fine. And we figured out a way to give the city a little more time safe from the predatory reptiles down there. Everything is good. At the moment, I just want to sleep for about three days.” 

“Well, I’ll be out of here soon and you can sleep for as long as you like,” Tilly told her. 

“Tilly?” Micheal said after a brief moment of silence. “Pack a bag this time. I’m not getting up early to rescue you.” 

“Right. Packing bag now,” Tilly agreed and she began to fill a jumbo sized purse with essential items. Once her bag was packed Tilly set to work on her dress and makeup. 

***

Tilly was a very polite dinner guest but Chris could see that she was nervous. She was talking too much. She rambled on about her mother only ever criticized her and then about how fortune cookies weren’t actually very fortunate because the odds of their predictions coming true were...she rattled off a long number and continued on about the philosophy of fate. 

“Tilly?” he stopped her after a while. 

“Am I talking too much?” she came to a sudden end. “I’ve been told before that my chatter is annoying. I really can stop if I make my mind up to do it.” 

“It’s not annoying. I don’t mind listening to you talk, especially if you have something to say. Right now I think you’re talking cause you’re anxious. I guess I thought with spending the past few nights in this room, you’d be past all the nervousness. What is it you’re worried about?” 

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly. “It’s not you, I just have issues to work through. I um...I know you wouldn’t have invited me here if you didn’t at least like me a little. I’ve always been a little weird and despite what you said about Molina, I’ve never seen myself as the prettiest in the room. So when it comes to things like dinner dates, I don’t know what to say because I don’t fully understand why you’d invite me here...except for the whole alien entity and baby thing… anyways, my confidence issues aren’t really your problem to fix. I’ll sort it out eventually. So tell me about you. Tell me something that’s not in your file.” 

They occupied the rest of the evening talking about other things, about his childhood and hers, about the Academy, and places they had visited. Tilly began to relax. Then the announcement came. 

“Captain needed on the bridge,” Saru’s voice came over the loudspeaker. “Requesting the Captain on the bridge.” 

“Well then,” Pike said, getting to his feet. “Wanna come and see what this is all about?’ he asked Tilly. 

She looked down at herself, in her black dress which wasn’t exactly a slinky black dress but it wasn’t a uniform either. “Dressed like this?” 

“I’m not in uniform either. Besides, you look great.” 

“If we both go to the bridge like this the crew is gonna know…” she followed him to the door but trailed off on her words. 

“Maybe they should know,” he told her. “Maybe that’s just the Faldarian connection making me want to announce who you’re with. I don’t really know. Spock would probably be able to figure out if it were an emotional response or a logical one. Truth is, I don’t think it matters. If we’re gonna raise a baby together and make an effort to be some sort of normal family, we need to get used to working under those conditions.” 

“That’s… that’s a really good point,” Tilly said as she followed him out of his room and to the lift. 

Chris took her hand as the door to the bridge were about to open. “You ready?” 

She nodded. “Here goes nothing.” 

No one on the bridge was really looking when they exited the lift. There was a Federation Ship on the viewscreen in the distance and everyone seemed to be focused on that. He could read the ship was marked as USS Refuge. 

“Status report, Saru?” Pike asked as he entered. 

“We picked up a distress call from a Federation shuttlecraft approximately one hour ago,” Saru explained. “I know we were enroute to return Barret for sentencing but the distress call seemed a worthy reason to drop out of warp.” 

“You’re right, but that's no shuttlecraft out there.” 

“Clearly. I will explain. When we dropped out of warp, the shuttle was out there and was being shot at by the Refuge. Their shields were down and the shuttle was going to break apart at any moment. I beamed the two injured occupants aboard without waiting for an explanation of the situation. Captain Wyatt of the Refuge contacted me immediately and demanded that I return the occupants to him. Captain Wyatt is the same Captain that Commander Barret served under. He is now demanding that we return the two injured shuttled occupants and Commander Barret to his custody. When I refused, he requested to speak to you.” 

“Alright. Put him on screen,” Pike said. 

The screen soon showed a dark haired Captain in his fifties. “You’re Captain Pike? I’ve heard you’re a reasonable man. What will it take to get my people back?” 

“That depends. Why do you need them back? We’re all Starfleet. Discovery can take them where they’re going as easily as Refuge can,” Pike was careful to keep his tone friendly, despite his mistrust. 

“They’re my people and they broke the rules. They belong in my brig,” Wyatt gave as explanation. 

“I’m afraid you’re gonna have to do better than that,” Pike prompted. 

Captain Wyatt clenched his jaw. “We have top secret missions going over here. That’s all I can say.” 

“I think we’ll just have Starfleet sort that out. You’re welcome to follow me to Starbase 12 if you like and sort it all out there.” 

“You can’t be serious?” Captain Wyatt said accusingly. 

“No, I am perfectly serious,” he confirmed. 

“Fine, I’ll follow you.” Wyatt said and the screen went dark. 

“That was very strange,” Saru said. “If I still had threat ganglia, I think they would have been active.” 

Pike nodded, because though he’d never had threat ganglia, he did understand the sentiment. Something about this whole encounter did not seem right. “Where are the two people from the shuttle? Sickbay?” 

“Yes Captain,” Saru confirmed. 

“I guess that’s where we’re headed then. Call me if that Wyatt fellow has anything else to say,” Pike told him and then he took Tilly’s hand and exited the bridge.


	24. Chapter 24

Captain Pike entered sick bay and found it to be a very busy place. Doctor Pollock was working on an unfamiliar man in Starfleet blue and Doctor Culber stood over an Andorian woman who was not conscious. Ensign Rause’ had left her bed and was limping around trying to assist the Doctors in the emergency. 

“Pollock, are either of these patients stable enough to talk to?” Pike asked the CMO. 

“I can speak, Captain,” The man said. “I just have some burns and cuts. I’ll be alright.” 

The captain moved over nearer the man’s bed so he could hear the explanation of what had been going on out there. “I’m Captain Christopher Pike, and you are?” 

“Doctor Leonard McCoy, Sir.” He tried to brush away Doctor Pollock at his side as she worked on his burns. “I don’t need a doctor, dammit, I am a doctor!” 

“You prefer to do this yourself? I’ll help the Andorian,” she said, annoyance in her tone as she passed McCoy her tools and walked away. 

“My first officer tells me that the Refuge was firing on your shuttle,” Pike began. “You wanna explain to me what was going on?” 

“It’s a bit of a long story. I was on Dramia II to help them with an outbreak of Saurian virus and when I finished up there, Refuge came to pick me up. Once I got on board Captain Wyatt had a few projects he asked for my help with. At first they were ordinary things like inoculations for some first contact races and some extra help in the sick bay when his own doctor just up and disappeared. He tried to tell me that the doctor was sick but wouldn’t let me see the man or do anything to treat his illness. I did some searching. That doctor wasn’t anywhere on the ship. Then I found the log that the man had been transported right out into open space, murdered. 

I went to Captain Wyatt with what I found and told him I was sending a file all about it to Starfleet. He let me know that he monitors all outgoing transmissions and that my message was never sent. Then he threatened me. Told me he had one more project for me and if I helped him with that he’d let all this go. If I didn’t help, he’d let me go, right out the airlock. 

I agreed to it, only to buy myself a little time. I figured he was probably gonna throw me out an airlock either way anyhow. So he brought me to a locked down medical deck and that's where I found her,” McCoy pointed to the Andorian woman in the next bed over. She had a mechanical arm and some sort of implant around her eye. 

“I was told her name is Taras,” The Doctor continued. “But she didn’t tell me that. She was strapped down to a table and gagged when I met her. Also, that arm of hers was torn off where it joins the shoulder and the mechanical part was crushed. She couldn’t talk but with all the blood I could see she was in agony. I told Wyatt, ‘My god man, give her something for the pain!’ That bastard told me that I wasn’t there to help her pain. He wanted me to get the cybernetic implant out of her brain. I told him that I wasn’t sure she would survive if I did that. He ordered me to do it anyway. I asked to take some scans as preparation for surgery and he allowed it. Wyatt actually left us alone at that point and I got her arm back on. Then, I figured out how to escape. We got on a shuttle and Wyatt tried to shoot us down. That’s where you and your ship came along.” 

“That’s quite the story,” Pike said. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe McCoy, he was simply trying to make sense of what Captain Wyatt might even be up to. 

“Look, I know that it doesn’t sound plausible that a Starfleet Captain would experiment on anyone or shoot down his own people to keep it secret. I didn’t stay long enough to get any proof or even to find out why. Just tell me that Taras over there is going to be okay and I’ll answer anything I can about what's going on on that ship over there,” McCoy said, leaning a little so he could get a look at the patient in the next bed over. 

“It looks like Taras took quite a blow to the head,” Pollock said. “She has a concussion but I believe she’s otherwise healthy and should recover once she wakes up.” 

“Then it looks like we have some questions for you, Doctor McCoy,” Pike told him, and his gaze fell on ensign Rause as she limped around the medical table to help the doctors. Heidi saw his gaze and understood what it meant. 

“It’s all true sir,” she told her Captain, confirming what the doctor had told them was the truth. Captain Wyatt was indeed corrupt.

Pike nodded his thanks to Heidi and turned to help the Doctor out of bed. “We’ll talk in my ready room.” He stopped near the door where Tilly had placed herself in order to stay out of the way. “I’ll see you in an hour or so. Have dessert without me,” he told her with half a smile. 

“Sorry Captain, we didn’t mean to cut short your date,” McCoy said as they left the sick bay. 

“It’s alright,” Tilly spoke up. “I’ll wait.” 

***

Tilly slipped off her heeled shoes in sick bay and wandered over to sit down on the edge of McCoy’s empty bed. 

“Are you sick Tilly?” Culber asked her as he did another scan on their guest. 

“I’m not sick. I was just thinking that she’s probably gonna be pretty scared when she wakes up and might not like being surrounded by Starfleet uniforms,” Tilly explained. 

Culber glanced at the Andorian woman in her brown uniform and then back at Tilly in her black dress. “You might be right. It doesn’t look like she’s Starfleet and it doesn’t look like the ship was on treated her well. You know anything about Andorians?” 

“I had a room mate once, at the Academy. It didn’t last very long because my allergies made us incompatible. For a little while though I tried to be her friend. That didn’t last very long either.” 

“The two of you didn’t get along?” Culber asked. 

“No. It ended because she died. It was an accident and I never learned the details of what happened. One day she was there and then she was gone. I liked her though. She was so brave and strong and her sarcasm was hilarious.” Tilly said sadly. “I look at Taras here and I can’t help but wonder what kind of a person could hurt her like this?” 

“Whatever they were up to on the Refuge, we’ll figure it out and put an end to it,” Culber said. “In the meantime if you wanna sit here until she wakes up, it looks like we have space available for now.” 

“Thanks,” Tilly said, arranging herself more comfortably on the bed. It might be a long wait.


	25. Chapter 25

Ensign Rause left sickbay without truly being discharged. The doctors there were too busy to really notice her leave anyway. She just wanted to rest in her own room away from the bustle of so many people. Her ankle wasn’t entirely healed. It was improved but there was still pain. Heidi ignored the pain and continued the difficult walk to her room. Dr Pollard had planned to do a psychological assessment on her before discharge and Heidi had been hoping to avoid it a little longer. She was not psychologically well. A man had hung her upside down and planned to kill her with a knife. It was not a way she had ever imagined dying. Starfleet had its dangers of course but Heidi had imagined that as a medical officer she would be in more danger from disease than from men with daggers. 

Heidi rounded a corner down the hall that led to her quarters and met Spock coming in the opposite direction. He stopped walking, raised an eyebrow, and then moved directly into her path. 

“You do not look as if your ankle is fully healed. Should you be walking?” he asked her. 

“Probably not,” Heidi admitted. 

“I can think of no logical reason for you to injure yourself in this manner,” he said, mildly curious. 

Heidi felt it the moment he slipped into her thoughts and she welcomed it with relief. Since leaving home and joining Starfleet she had often felt as if she hadn’t talked to anyone, hadn’t truly communicated with anyone, in years. Having someone share her thoughts for just a moment was a comfort. She didn’t care if his being in her thoughts meant that he learned what had pushed her to leave sickbay. She had nothing to hide. 

“Fleeing sickbay will not help you to flee from your disturbing memories,” Spock told her and though his tone did not convey it, she could feel his concern for her well being. 

“I know,” Heidi agreed. “I just hoped that a moment alone might help me to think about something else.” 

“You need a distraction,” he said, understanding. “Whether you choose to return to sickback or seek a distraction in your quarters, you should not walk there in your injured state.” 

“Are you offering to carry me?” Heidi asked him, a hint of a smile on her face and flirtation in her tone. 

“I was not but I will do so if you request it of me,” Spock said. 

“Then...I request it,” Heidi said, despite knowing that it probably wasn’t appropriate. Her fear of her own memories was enough to make her want a few more moments with her rescuer. 

Spock picked her up and she allowed herself to lean her head on his shoulder and against his neck. They weren’t far from her quarters. Spock opened the doors and carried her to her bed. He intended to place her there, say goodnight, and be on his way. That was the last thing she wanted him to do. She was aware too, that he felt conflicting emotions of his own about leaving her. Vulcans felt powerful emotions most of the time. His affection for her was at that moment overpowering and he sat down on the bed with Heidi still in his lap. 

She didn’t question it. She didn’t ask why. Words were not necessary between them. There was instead a mutual admiration and warmth between them. Heidi admired his ability to adhere to logic and do his duty despite his powerful emotions and he admired the way she was so entirely comfortable with accepting most emotions into her life. She did at times try to control her emotional response but she enjoyed feeling emotions, her own and other people’s, just as often. It was not the Vulcan way and though he would continue to live by logic, Heidi still managed to intrigue him. She was still frightened after her ordeal that had nearly taken her life and could use a distraction. Spock decided her would offer her one. 

Heidi realized that Spock was going to kiss her just moments before he did and she adjusted just a little on his lap so that she could kiss him in return. 

***

Tilly fell asleep in sickbay somehow. She awoke to the beeping of Dr Culber’s scanner over the patient next to her. 

“Well that’s strange,” Culber said absently as he looked over his tricorder. 

“What’s strange?” Tilly asked, sitting up. 

“The metal her arm is made out of isn’t one I’ve seen anywhere else. I tried finding a match and it seems to be local to the planet where we picked up Barret. It’s only registering a four on the Mohs hardness scale making it as strong as-” 

“Nickel,” Tilly interrupted him, understanding where he was going. “Why would her arm be made out of something so weak? I mean, if someone were going to have a robotic arm it would make sense for it to be super strong.” 

Culber nodded. “It gets weirder. Look?” He showed Tilly the tricorder. 

“That’s not just metal. That’s…” 

“Organic,” Culber finished for her. “And the implant in her head is made out of the same thing.” 

“So it’s a zeolite,” Tilly said. “They usually use synthetic zeolites for oxygen concentration systems but naturally occurring zeolites are rare, at least rare on earth after all the years of mining humans did. I’ve never seen one like this though. I don’t understand why they would use it on her like this or why Captain Wyatt wanted it mined.” 

“Because he doesn’t use it for oxygen systems,” the Andorian woman Zares spoke weakly. “The metal is called Kalomacite and it can be used to store the memories of all it touches.” 

“That explains a few things,” Tilly said. “You’re awake. How are you feeling? What happened over there? I guess I should explain that you’re on the Starfleet ship Discovery. I’m Ensign Sylvia Tilly. This is Dr Culber.” 

“Thanks to you both then, for keeping me alive. Where is Dr McCoy?” 

“He’s here. He’s with Captain Pike,” Tilly explained. “What can you tell us about Kalomacite?” 

“Quite a lot actually,” the woman began.


	26. Chapter 26

Michael Burnham hadn’t really planned to be wandering the ship’s corridor’s late at night but she couldn’t sleep so she found herself walking. She rounded a corner just in time to see Spock exiting Heidi Rause’s quarters. He caught sight of her and hesitated as if trying to decide if he should walk in the opposite direction or not. He chose to approach her. 

“You are awake at a rather late hour,” he commented. “Is this not your night off?” 

“It is my night off. Seems that my sleep cycles are all messed up lately because of pulling double shifts and I can’t sleep when I supposed to anymore,” she explained. 

“You could request a sedative to help you resume your normal pattern,” he suggested. 

“I could. Speaking of normal patterns, it’s very unusual to find you coming out of Heidi’s room just now,” Michael was only half serious. She enjoyed teasing him on occasion. 

“I encountered Ensign Rause attempting to walk back to her room from sickbay and her ankle is not fully healed. I assisted her in returning to her room,” he explained. 

Michael nodded, bemused. “So that’s how you got lipstick on your neck?” 

Spock stopped walking and reached up to wipe away the smudge. 

“There’s still…” Micheal took a clean tissue from her pocket and he allowed her to reach up and wipe away the rest of the evidence. She did so without actually touching him, knowing that for the most part Vulcans avoided physical contact. 

“I was unaware that lipstick would be left behind,” he said rather absently. 

“It’s not paint Spock. It does smudge off,” Michael told him. “Your unawareness tells me that you haven’t had very many romantic relationships. That maybe Heidi is the first. I’m glad for you.” 

“I’m unsure that I would define it as a romantic relationship,” Spock said. 

Michael gave him a look as if she couldn’t believe he was serious. “Did you or did you not kiss her?” 

“I would prefer not to speak about this topic,” he replied, moving forward down the corridor to continue walking. 

“If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Heidi,” she teased him a little further, turning to follow him. She just wanted to push him to acknowledge his human side once in a while. She had grown up a human in a Vulcan home and maybe it was selfish but getting him to admit his human side sometimes helped her feel less isolated. 

Spock did not reply to Micheal’s statement at all. He probably knew she wouldn’t actually ask Hedi about a personal matter like that at all. “Why would you be glad for me?” he asked after a moment. 

“Spock, you’re my brother and you’re half human. There is happiness to be found in romantic relationships. It’s only fair that you get to experience that like everyone else,” she told him sincerely. 

“Then… how does one define such relationships in the early stages?” he asked her curiously. “No formal attachments have occurred like a betrothal or even so much as a date. I have no knowledge of what traditions are practiced on Betazed.” 

“Well, if she wants to see more of you, I guess that’s a question for Heidi,” Michael said, a little at a loss herself having not had all that many relationships either. 

“She has indicated that she does,” he said but there was something in his tone that only those closest to him would be able to pick up on. 

“You’re worried,” Michael said, knowing that the worry was there just beneath the surface. 

“Only that I might have made a mistake. A Vulcan and a Betazed have many distinct differences with one culture embracing emotion and the other suppressing it. Perhaps such a partnership is doomed to fail.” 

“Humans embrace emotion too. If Sarak and Amanda can make it work then there is no reason why you can’t either,” she told him. “If that’s what you want anyway.” 

They had reached the door to his room and he stopped walking. “For now I will spend some time in meditation. Thank you for your advice. I will consider it.” 

“Good night Spock,” she said, and continued on her walk. 

***

“Start at the beginning. I have plenty of time,” Tilly said as she sat in sickbay next to their awake patient. “They said your name was Tares?” 

“My name is Zh’Tares,” the Andorian woman told Tilly as she began her story. “Captain Wyatt kept rudely leaving off the prefix. He cared very little for cultural conventions. But then, a man who would hold a guest prisoner for his own gains can hardly be trusted to care about manners.” 

“The more I hear about that man, the less I like him. He sounds evil,” Tilly said. “I’m Sylvia Tilly, by the way.” 

“He is driven by greed which is hardly any different from malice, I suppose.” Zh’Tares said. “Obviously, I am not Starfleet. This arm of mine,” she glanced down at the metallic arm she bore. “It was not always like this. I lost my arm and suffered a head injury in battle eight years ago and the loss made me a candidate for an experimental Andorian technology. If I accepted the arm and implant then I would also be accepting a place on a mission of espionage. You see my, people encountered the planet Racknus and the zeolites that are found there some thirty years ago. They had been waiting for a candidate who was qualified for a long while. I can’t give you details of what my mission was but I was gathering intelligence and was doing so in a non traditional way. I had the ability to download the memories of any intelligent organic being just by touching them.” 

“That is amazing,” Tilly said. 

“It is. But when I left my mission, I was discovered and I was chased by the very Romulans I had been trying to spy on. I sent out a distress call and it wasn’t one of my people who answered that call. It was Starfleet.” 

“You mean Captain Wyatt? I don’t think he counts as Starfleet,” Tilly said. 

“Yes, it was Captain Wyatt. He took me aboard and had me taken to sickbay to be treated for injuries I received during my escape. Like your people, he learned very quickly about the zeolite and he engaged in interrogation to learn what it could do. I am ashamed to admit that I gave in to this interrogation. Had I held out, he wouldn’t have gone to Racknus to mine more Kalomacite and he wouldn’t have betrayed us all by selling it to the Romulans.” 

“He sold it to the Romulans?” 

“Yes, and he planned to take my arm and implant and anonymously sell those to either the Romulans or Andorian intelligence, whoever would pay more for the information. He basically put my life and the safety of my people up for auction, besides keeping me prisoner for months. If Doctor McCoy hadn’t helped me escape when he did…” 

“He saved your life and maybe your people too,” Tilly agreed. “I need to go inform the Captain of all of this but before I go, I want you to know, you’re not our prisoner. The real Starfleet is on your side.” 

“I know. And thank you Sylvia Tilly,” she said as Tilly got up to leave.


End file.
